Fully Grown Homos Podcast
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Fully Grown Homos Podcast
The Secret Life of a Married Man Who Loves Men
What happens when sexual identity doesn't fit neatly into society's boxes? In this raw, unfiltered conversation, we're joined by Don (name changed for anonymity), a married man who enjoys sexual encounters with men without identifying as gay or bisexual.
Don's journey begins with a candid admission about childhood trauma that became a "triggering point" for his sexual exploration. Rather than allowing this experience to define him negatively, he's reclaimed his sexuality on his own terms. "I'm married, but I like having sex with men," he states simply, challenging our cultural obsession with labels and categories.
We dive deep into the complex dynamics of Don's life – from his experiences at "church" (our code for sex-on-premises venues) to the delicate balance he maintains in his marriage. While his wife knows about his past experiences with men, the boundaries of communication and transparency in their relationship raise fascinating questions about modern partnerships and honesty.
The conversation takes a powerful turn when Don shares his battle with stage four prostate cancer at just 47 years old. His decision to pursue aggressive treatment rather than medication alone likely saved his life. With remarkable candor, he discusses the impacts on his sexual function, including the inability to ejaculate following treatment, while emphasizing that pleasure remains: "I have the feelings and sensations... I'm still alive." His perspective offers profound insights for anyone facing health challenges that affect intimacy.
Throughout our discussion, Don maintains a refreshingly pragmatic approach to his sexuality and experiences. He doesn't agonize over identity politics but acknowledges his desires while maintaining the parts of his life that matter most. His story reminds us that human sexuality exists on a spectrum far more complex than our limited vocabulary can express.
Join us for this thought-provoking episode that challenges assumptions, explores the gray areas of sexual identity, and celebrates finding authentic pleasure on your own terms. Whether you identify within the LGBTQ+ community or are simply curious about the diversity of human experience, this conversation will expand your understanding of sexuality beyond traditional boundaries.
If you want to send us a question or would like our thoughts on a particular topic you can contact us at Fullygrownhomospodcast@gmail.com or contact us on any of our socials at Fully Grown Homos Podcast.
Welcome to Fully Grown Homos, a podcast about our adventures as fully grown homos, navigating today's world full of inquisitive, friends' questions about gay life and the unexplored activities of a life lived as fully grown homos.
Speaker 2:We'll discuss the gay 101s, sex sexuality and topics we don't even know yet, as we want your input into what you want to hear. Nothing is off limits, so email us on the Fully Grown Homos podcast at gmailcom.
Speaker 1:Or message any of our socials, the Fully Grown Homos, dave Welcome. Hey, dave Evening. Guess what, guess what. We've got another guest.
Speaker 2:We have. This is awesome. This is awesome this is great.
Speaker 1:We love it when there's more than two.
Speaker 2:And this guest has been wanting to come on for a while. He has.
Speaker 1:We've been wanting to talk to him for quite some time. Yep, and welcome to the mic, don.
Speaker 2:Get my name right.
Speaker 1:I got his name wrong straight up. It's not Dan, but we have changed his name for his anonymity Anonymity.
Speaker 3:I don't want everybody to know my real name. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:We call him something different every time we meet him anyway.
Speaker 2:That's true too. And where do we meet Don?
Speaker 1:We met Don at church. Yay, Another churchy For our listeners that know what church is. For our listeners that know what church is, it's our sex on premises venue where men go to enjoy company of other men.
Speaker 2:I've known Don for a while longer than you.
Speaker 1:You have. And yeah, but you know, but before we dive into that deep, dark, dirty stuff, yep Right.
Speaker 3:Oh, I was just getting excited then. Well, you can get excited later on.
Speaker 2:That's for sure, definitely.
Speaker 1:So tell the list? No, yeah, tell us a little bit about yourself, but don't jump in too much, all right?
Speaker 2:Well, I'm going to do the weekly wrap beforehand.
Speaker 1:Yeah, did you want to talk or play, oh well. Well, Actually, let's do. Let's do this segment first, this one first, and then With some attitude, please. I'm growing and feeling fine. Snap those fingers, sip that wine, Get your fix. No need to nap. It's Dave and Matt with the Weekly Wrap. Dave, what's your week been about? Not a lot this week. Matt. No, I know because of the fucking rain right Yep.
Speaker 2:Who had rain? Well, the whole of fucking New South Wales, I think. Oh, sydney, yeah. Well, new South Wales, the whole state and yeah, yeah and it's only just stopped today. Today, yay, fine, I feel like I'm fucking Noah's Ark. You know what I mean. On Noah's Ark, 40 days, 40 nights. It's been 50 days and 50 nights.
Speaker 1:It has been Mighty wet and not in a good way.
Speaker 2:It's wet on the church day, that's for sure.
Speaker 1:Oh, I know we get pretty moist, so no, but we talked about church last time, didn't we? We did yes, we did yeah.
Speaker 2:Good place to go. But anyway, my weekly wrap has been pretty much nothing anyway, Nothing. Because I couldn't do anything.
Speaker 3:Well, same, I just worked and rained and couldn't do anything, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I'm the same. My week has been pretty uneventful. I went to the gym, you did?
Speaker 2:I went back to the gym. No, was he.
Speaker 1:Well, well, funny story, he was all right.
Speaker 1:He was all right, actually my gym visit and I can't remember what day I think it was Tuesday. No, was it Tuesday morning? Tuesday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night, Wednesday. It was Wednesday night after work, because I've been trying to get of a morning, but I've now changed my roster so I start a little bit earlier. So I thought I'm going to take my gym bag on Wednesday and I'm going toavour to go. So I took my gym bag and I thought, got to the end of the day I'm thinking, fuck, I'm too fucked for this shit. But then I thought I was going to force myself to go, so I went.
Speaker 3:And I'm glad I did. Too fucked or too old.
Speaker 1:Column A.
Speaker 2:column C I know why he goes to the gym. Well, yeah, okay. How is he that I know why he goes to the gym? Well, yeah, okay. How is he? That's what I know. How is he? He has multiple workouts.
Speaker 1:I went to the gym and I exercised. I did a little bit of weights and stuff like that, stretching Weights and things like that, and then I went to the shower and then Did more exercises. There was one guy that had the door open in a jar and I went oh, have a look. It had a bird looking. Yeah well, he was wanting to be looked at right and rightfully so Was it a cold day. No, it wasn't cold. It was definitely warm in there, and he was creating some friction, was it?
Speaker 2:hot and steamy.
Speaker 1:No, the steam room was steamy.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:So I then went to the steam room in the sauna, excuse me and when I sat in the steam room there was this strapping lad that walked in, and he was probably about 33, 34, 35, 36-ish.
Speaker 2:Keep going Somewhere in that vicinity.
Speaker 1:Mid-30s. Okay, I should have just gone with mid-30s, but that's not what I do, right? Sorry, that's not what I do, right. Sorry, that's not what I do, obviously. So mid-30s. And he was quite fit, looking probably about 6'2", so he'd been to the gym before.
Speaker 3:Is that what you're saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:He'd been to the gym and he sat down and he sat in front of this. I've just got to take a phone call Sorry. Okay, sorry, that's all right.
Speaker 2:Go on a few seconds.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the guy was in his 30s.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he was mid-30s, mid-30s. All right, we're back now.
Speaker 3:You got my attention because he's muscly, he's muscly, obviously works in a gym.
Speaker 1:Well, no, he doesn't actually work there, no, he's just a patron, right. But then he sat in front of the on the on in the steam room there's a like a vent where all the steam comes out. I've got pictures, right, yep, right. And so this little vent at the bottom that pushes steam out so hard that it burns your fucking legs if you sit there, all right, so you don't sit there if everyone knows, everyone knows well, if you really hung it could burn. Everyone knows Well, if you really hung it could burn your cock. But yeah, if you really hung and it fell over the side, unfortunately, I'm not.
Speaker 2:I've actually had burns from a sauna you have had sauna burns From sauna burns.
Speaker 3:I've had sauna burns. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and not sauna burns, just burns.
Speaker 2:Friction burns Friction.
Speaker 1:I've had burns from veet, but that's another story for another day. Yeah, anyway, but this guy sat in front of it and I said to him buddy, you're going to burn your legs by sitting there. And he went huh, and I said the steam will get you. I said come sit over here, all right. So he just shuffled up a bit. He did, and the other guy moved him up a bit. Yeah, I moved him up a bit. Yeah, so I moved up a bit, because then he sort of sat there and looked at me as if I was strange, but then all of a sudden this fucking steam just pumped out and he was just like, oh fuck, right, but he had a really thick Irish accent. Was he wearing anything?
Speaker 2:under the towel.
Speaker 1:No, no, he wasn't in a towel, he had his boardies on. Oh, boring. Well, you say boring now, but yeah, keep going. But then I basically had finished and I was coming home because I had my babies to look after and stuff like that, and I didn't want to get in trouble off Dave for being home late, because if I come home too late he says should have told me and I would have gone and fed your babies for you, right? So I left the sauna, went to shower and next minute someone's in the shower opposite Now I had the door shut, sort of, so I didn't know who it was or anything like that Got out, started getting ready and he basically walks out of the showers, right, and again, I don't give a fuck about a towel right. Like I dry off, boom, boom, boom. And he must have thought, oh, this is a cool place where you don't even have to bother with a towel. Well, I could see why he didn't want to wear a towel Right, because he was swinging at a big fat cock head.
Speaker 3:So he would have got burnt.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and I'm sitting there and I'm going oh my god, it looked meaty as hell. And I'm sitting there and I'm going like I need to dry off and I need to cover myself a little bit because this is causing you reaction. Was he hairy he was. Yeah, hairy enough, okay, not too, hairy yeah, not too hairy, but yeah, but he was good. So my gym visit it was my only one this week, but I went once. But I'm definitely going to go again. I'm going to have to lock in a Wednesday night.
Speaker 1:Lock in Wednesday nights and see if I can't. But he was having a good chat with another guy in there as well, so you could hear the Irish accent all over again, which was really good. Did you check your grinder? I did. I opened grinder straight away, thinking ooh, ooh, ooh, but I couldn't find him on there. But again, he could have had a blank profile or something like that word, or sniffles. I learned about sniffles. What the fuck sniffles? Sniffles is a new one.
Speaker 1:That doesn't sniffles is if you're too full so I know, sniffles is a new app, right, and it basically is just all cockpicks right everywhere. Yeah, I'll show you this later. But it's like really, really cool, but it's again location-based, similar to Grindr, but it doesn't charge you, like the monthly fees and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:It's like Grindr charges you, so what is the narrative on it?
Speaker 1:It's an app. It's basically a hookup app.
Speaker 2:You chap on it, you chap, yeah, you chap on it, you chap. Yeah, you chap on it, you chap on it.
Speaker 3:You chap your lips on it, that's for sure.
Speaker 1:But a lot of it looks like the conversation. I haven't chatted to anyone.
Speaker 2:Do they then send you their face pic instead of the dick pic, possibly?
Speaker 1:Yeah. Well, how hard do you really want to see? Yeah, but what I'm saying is it's like a reverse process. You know what.
Speaker 2:I mean, like that Nathan Dakin process, you see the bottom half and the body, then you see the face after I'm with John.
Speaker 1:I don't give a fuck what their face looks like, just show me your cock, oh yeah, but if the face is hot as well. Yeah, that's a bonus, that is a bonus Like winning the glory hole.
Speaker 2:I've got pictures again.
Speaker 1:I keep seeing pictures. There's a feed that's on the side of this app and it actually tells you like I'm going to be here. So it's kind of like Squirt was where they say this is the location, this is the location, but it says, like you know, it might say I'm going to be at Penrith Mall in Store Number 3 at 10.15,. Right, everyone come in and dump their load in me, or something like that. I don't know. I don't know. That's maybe what it's going to be A lot of baggage.
Speaker 1:I think he's been watching too much porn. I've been watching far too much porn, but yeah, so that's pretty much the weekly wrap. That's done and dusted for the weekly wrap.
Speaker 2:That was quite interesting actually.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You did more than we did. Yeah, the common thing is, you still got wet.
Speaker 1:I still got wet and steamy and gave me definitely some material to have a wank over, or two maybe, but yeah, but yeah. So Don is our guest this week and we welcome you, don.
Speaker 3:Thank you, great Thank you for inviting me.
Speaker 1:So we've known you for a while. I've known you for a while, Dave. How long have you guys known?
Speaker 2:each other. I've known you for about five or six years, maybe longer. Gee, yeah, I haven't known you have. I been doing that. That long. Yeah, well, I've been doing it longer.
Speaker 1:I've been doing it the longest. Oh, now we have an encounter. Well, no, I've been doing it since I was 11 and I'm now 54.
Speaker 2:Fuck me. No, I have, you have and you will again, and I will again definitely.
Speaker 3:Yeah, more than likely.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've been doing it a while, but so the reason I guess, well, you wanted to come on, which is great, yep, but then some of the questions, I guess. Now, this is with all the respect in the world, and this is not a, there's no. Judgment no judgment or anything like that right, and this is for the information of our guests and for ourselves as well, because we know you, you know we love you as well, but we've got questions.
Speaker 3:Answer and I'll answer them as much as I can. Yeah, correct, correct correct, correct.
Speaker 1:And if you don't want to, answer, then that's fine, Just say fuck off nosy prick. It's simple as that, right.
Speaker 1:So yeah, have I ever said that no, no, you haven't, you haven't, but it's different when it's on the record. So, yeah, have I ever said that? No, no, you haven't, you haven't, but it's different when it's on the record. So it might be. Hang on a second. Hang on. No, I'm not going to ask what your last name is, what this is, what this is, what this is, what this is yeah, you don't have to know that.
Speaker 2:It's just about you as a person.
Speaker 1:So, all right, identification All right. So let's start with this one, because this is going to be a tricky one for our listeners. So how do you identify personally, right? Are you straight? Bisexual fluid.
Speaker 3:Well, you asked this before and I thought about it. I never think about it, yeah, and a lot of people don't, because I don't think. I was going to say something, but I thought, yeah, and a lot of people don't because I don't think. I'm. I was going to say something but I thought I'd no say I'm married, Yep, but I like having sex with men.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's quite a common thing.
Speaker 1:So there is, like I said, it's MSN, which is it is heterosexual, identified MSN Right, all these little initials and everything.
Speaker 3:I don't understand.
Speaker 2:Well, a lot of people don't follow the sexual preferences because there's no need.
Speaker 1:That's probably the beauty of not being part of the gay community is you don't have to fucking understand him.
Speaker 2:You enjoy what you enjoy. You shouldn't have to identify as anything. Well, you're a male, I'm a. Well, I hope you are, are you?
Speaker 1:I am a male? Yes, you definitely are. I've seen. All depends how cold it is. Yeah, but he might want to be called an oyster Like.
Speaker 3:No, no, no, no no no, no, no, no, I'm A male.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. Well, we know you're a male.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, so, identifying, you don't really put a label on yourself. I don't put a label on myself, I know.
Speaker 3:I just like I said, I'm married Yep and I like having sex with men as well.
Speaker 2:Yep and I was married, obviously as you know yeah as I know you, but obviously I came out before I started playing around with men as well, so I never did it while I was married. Obviously, as you know, obviously I came out before I started playing around with men as well, so I never did it while I was married. But again, circumstances, different circumstances, everybody's different. You know, I mean, but you're not, you're not indifferent to other people. We know, we know a lot of other people.
Speaker 3:I've got people that I see, believe me when I, when it, when I discovered, discovered all this, sexual things with men and everything like that, I'm the only one, yep, I must be the only one, yeah. And then I got invited Okay, yep, yep. Invited to a friend's place, yep. Then we discovered each other.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:And that's how it all started. And was he married as well. No, Okay. He actually is gay, okay, okay.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:That's a good thing.
Speaker 1:Let's not jump to that, because my next question is actually about that, but part two of the first question around the identity and self-understanding, right? So do you see a difference between sexual behaviour and romantic relationship orientation?
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 1:No, so yeah, See I.
Speaker 3:Quick word, isn't it?
Speaker 1:No, yeah, it is, it is.
Speaker 3:It's a very powerful word as well for a lot of people out there who want to try something and somebody says no.
Speaker 2:Yeah, how long have you been doing this, for that you can remember.
Speaker 1:Hang on, sorry, hold up, dave. How did you first come to explore sex with men?
Speaker 3:Honest truth.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Honest truth.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I was molested.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's Yep.
Speaker 3:Sorry for that no no, I, how can I say I accepted it and then went exploring?
Speaker 2:Okay, and that seems quite a common thread about you know from what we spoke to other people as well. So, yeah, I mean it's just one of those things that you either deal with it or you sort of like live with it. I think you've dealt with it, so you know, so yeah, so okay, you asked me the question.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, no, that's fine and I honestly answered.
Speaker 3:I think that would be the first time in my life I have actually said it out loud. Yeah, well, that's good.
Speaker 1:And look, that's quite confronting obviously Empowering, as well, yeah, confronting, and I guess a lot of our listeners will potentially have a similar situation. So thank you for your honesty in that right.
Speaker 3:I just hope the person or people out there that think it's okay to do what they're doing it is it's fine, Go ahead If you want to. It's sad that it's happened. Right yeah, yeah, because nobody should touch anybody. No, no, again, the word is no, no. But then if you want to explore yourself, go for it, but remember what that person has done to you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's a triggering point that has allowed you to invest. Triggering point, that's right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I guess so, without that.
Speaker 3:So, and I guess this is hard to say you don't know what to say now, do you?
Speaker 1:No, I've got the question, but it's really it's hard to say. If that hadn't happened, do you think you would have discovered sex with men at some stage throughout your life?
Speaker 3:That's a question I'll never, ever be able to answer.
Speaker 1:Because you do enjoy it. I fucking know you enjoy it. I know you enjoy it Personally. We've been there and I know you enjoy it Not just once.
Speaker 1:Whereas I have been with people in the past that have been in a in the past right, that have been in a similar situation, that have sort of had whether it be childhood, late teens that they were sort of touched by a relative or somebody else right, and when I've been engaging with them there was almost there was a disconnect right. There was an actual complete disconnect and it was like they were doing it because that's how they got their attention right. There was an actual complete disconnect and it was like they were doing it because that's how they got their attention right from other people and their affection from other people right, but wasn't enjoyable for them and you could see that it wasn't enjoyable for them, whereas with you, you definitely fucking enjoy your dick you embrace it, yeah.
Speaker 3:You enjoy it? Yes, I have to admit I do like a cock or two.
Speaker 1:Or two or three, or four. I'm a bit the same.
Speaker 2:Settle down boys. So, while we're on the topic of this very, very, very quick question In terms of like church we've talked about church a lot on the podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know where you're talking about church.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah In terms of like when was the first time you went to that sort of establishment?
Speaker 3:A friend of mine who helped me work out what I was doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, loved the guy so much. He's a great guy. Yep, he dared me to go to church. Okay, yep, excuse me, but he didn't realise I was actually there, nervous as everything, absolutely shaken like shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Anyway. So I had to FaceTime him oh To church and describe exactly where I was walking in, right, what I saw, if you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:We all know what church looks like. Yeah, so you're walking in Yep and go around to the door Into the Entry Entry Yep.
Speaker 1:And then you go and see the Bank of lockers and the showers and stuff the showers and the sauna and everything like that, the spa and stuff, yep.
Speaker 3:And then he told me I had to go upstairs, Because that's another level again isn't it?
Speaker 1:Well, there's two more levels you couldn't have kept your FaceTime on while you were upstairs either.
Speaker 3:No, Well, back then you could, oh okay, wow, okay, back then. They didn't do it, they didn't say no phones. Yeah.
Speaker 1:No phones, ah, okay.
Speaker 2:The rules are you can't take. Oh, I've been going a long time, oh wow.
Speaker 3:Okay, you have.
Speaker 1:You have. You see, you've probably been going that some of the time when I was, I'll say, stuck in my relationship because it felt like I was. Now, now that I'm out of it, so because I hadn't, I missed out. I think I've only been 15 years, 17 years, 17,. Sorry, 17 years. Pretty much I was stuck in that. No, it might have been, yeah, about 15, 16, 16, 17, whatever. It was a fucking long time I was stuck in that relationship, but throughout that time you probably would have seen my ex there Because he was doing it behind your back Because he was doing it behind my back.
Speaker 3:He was probably doing me he probably did.
Speaker 1:No, he had ED, so he definitely wasn't doing you, definitely not. But yeah, all right. So, oh, attractions and boundaries. What attracts you to men sexually, if not romantically?
Speaker 3:Good question.
Speaker 1:Dave, what attracts you to men? Physicality.
Speaker 2:It's definitely. I mean I love a guy as opposed to a woman because of the masculinity. So for me hairy chest you know, just the physique, even kissing a guy, like I've said on other podcasts, is so different. So for me the attraction is the man.
Speaker 3:It seems that the man knows how to kiss.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he knows how to do a lot of things. Yeah, well, yeah, been there, done that yeah.
Speaker 3:What attracts?
Speaker 2:me. Is it the personality Heartbeat? Yeah.
Speaker 1:And they actually talk. Conversation.
Speaker 2:Conversation, because that doesn't happen all the time, does it? No, it doesn't.
Speaker 3:You know, we all know, blow and go, yep.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:And it's quite common in the actual church environment, isn't it? Yes, there's only a small group of us that actually will talk, you know, and get to know each other. I mean, we got to know you, we get to know Clay clay, who's coming over later on, um, and I've met a lot of other people you, you know michael from previous times, and there's a lot of other people that we have taken time to get to know. But most of the time people go in there don't say what their names are, don't say anything, just small talk and they'll go. You know, I mean, and a lot of them are married guys, as we know well, you know, so you know um, yeah, so in terms of your desire to go back, do you get excited now about going back?
Speaker 3:Well, I do, but this all depends who's going to be there. Right, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:So do you try and meet up with people. So would you say it's.
Speaker 3:So if I see you guys at church, I'm on it's on. Yeah, it's. So. If I see you guys at church, I'm on it's on. Yeah, it's fun.
Speaker 1:So would you say it's then a, it's a social part of your social makeup now, rather than just the sexual thing, where earlier it probably was all based around sexual. It's still sexual. He said fuck you, don't fucking kid yourself. It's nothing to do with the socials, I'm just there to get my rocks off.
Speaker 3:Well, that's a hard question. I don't know.
Speaker 2:I can't answer that. Okay, is there anything about the experience that you don't like, as in like going to church? Is it the premises? Or is there anything like you know some people don't like, as in like going to church? Is it the premises? Or is there anything like you know some people don't know where to stop because we?
Speaker 2:as you know yourself people will follow you and you'll tell them and we've had this incident before, and no means no, as we know, but there are still fucking people out there that will follow you around, even though you've told them multiple times you're not interested and they they'll still try it on. Yeah, oh, they grab you and touch you and oh, I mean, that's quite a put-off, isn't it?
Speaker 3:It is a put-off. Yes, it is very much.
Speaker 1:So with the tractors Again no is no.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and sometimes you have to go to the extent of reporting them, don't you?
Speaker 1:Consent is king right, and, as I said, look and I'm, and they're pretty good at policy.
Speaker 2:You know, keeping it as a policy thing.
Speaker 1:They are actually good at policing that if you go and say to them, hey, this guy's pissing me off, right? He won't take no for an answer. Well, look, I've spoken previously on another episode about basically nearly having to break somebody's arm because he just wouldn't leave us the fuck alone. I told him back the fuck up, or I'm going to smash her. Yep, right, because it got to the point where it was just nonstop.
Speaker 3:I had one guy push me out of the way. Yeah, really, we're all there for one reason or another.
Speaker 2:Exactly Suck dick, yeah, yeah, yeah, correct, get fucked yeah.
Speaker 1:All of the above, you've still got your preferences and your boundaries. So, boundaries, right, boundaries Okay. So when we talk about being sexually, being attracted to men sexually, and, I guess, being a I guess for want of a better term, for want of a label a straight man, as a straight man that has sex with men, do you have boundaries, like in your not necessarily sexual boundaries, but boundaries from an emotional side, that so you'll say all right, I won't take names and numbers. What are your boundaries around, I guess, getting involved with somebody? You're a pretty good judge of character.
Speaker 2:Some people don't kiss because it's obviously.
Speaker 1:Because that makes them gay yeah, yeah yeah, it's funny.
Speaker 3:a guy that I had the other day said he didn't kiss. But what did he do? First thing he saw me Sucked a dick.
Speaker 1:He kissed you. Wow, did he? Yeah, okay, well, there you go. Sucked your dick. He kissed you.
Speaker 2:Wow, did he, yeah, okay, well, there you go Okay. Was that like a passionate kiss, or was it?
Speaker 3:just like it was lovely. Oh, okay, so it was a full on kiss. Yeah, it was really really nice, actually, really nice guy.
Speaker 2:See, I like men hugs as well. I think male touching, male bonding and caressing is very important.
Speaker 3:You can do that with your dad, your brothers yeah, I wouldn't caress my dad, sorry, no. And caressing is very important. You can do that with your dad, your brothers yeah, I wouldn't caress my dad, sorry, no, not different. Caress A cuddle.
Speaker 2:Oh, right, okay, A hug, yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry, change the word. No, sorry, change the word.
Speaker 1:Similar, but creepier. Hi Dad, come here, give me a hug. Oh Dad, come here, give me a hug.
Speaker 2:Oh Dad turned around and says can you?
Speaker 1:get your hands off my cock, mate, matt, and I go. He said again and I went okay, all right, only this time.
Speaker 3:I would love to give my dad a cuddle again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, me too. I give my dad a hug when.
Speaker 2:I see him every time, a hug, whatever, yeah, yeah because he's like, yeah, it's important, I think.
Speaker 1:It definitely is important he knows he's loved. We had our conversation this afternoon so it was cool. But yeah, do you feel your experiences?
Speaker 3:with men differ from your experiences with women. Funny, okay, I didn't have that much experience with women, okay, but I like women. Yep, I end up meeting up with a male-female.
Speaker 1:Okay, yep, yep. Male to female. Male to female Trans yeah, twice or two times.
Speaker 3:Twice. Okay, two different ones.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:One that I was excited about it was over before it started, yep, but the second one took our time and it was lovely, okay, absolutely beautiful.
Speaker 2:Was that? Just you were drawn to the personality, or were you?
Speaker 3:drawn to the sexual side, I'm going to say guy, just the guy, okay, right, okay.
Speaker 2:Because he's well. Was he fully transed?
Speaker 1:Transitioned completely.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so he had breasts and he had she didn't have breasts, okay, and she had the deep voice hair on her chest Right, but she still had a vagina.
Speaker 2:Oh, so it was a female to male. Oh, it was female to male. Yes, okay, okay, okay, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:That's something that I've definitely not been too down, but yeah, so yeah.
Speaker 2:So what was it that attracted you to that person then? The way she spoke?
Speaker 3:or the way he spoke. I do apologise.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, that's you you were correct because it's an actual thing to think it's the other way around because it isn't that common.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, it's ok.
Speaker 2:Great, I haven't got over, so that's okay. Great Cool, that's very cool.
Speaker 3:I haven't got over it yet.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's interesting.
Speaker 1:That's great though. That's great though. So secrecy, stigma and openness Do your female partners past, current know about any of your experiences with men?
Speaker 3:I'm going to say yes.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 3:Okay, I'm going to say yes, yep.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm going to say yes, yep, you think your wife knows.
Speaker 3:Yes, yep, I don't know if she knows I'm still doing it Right. Okay, but yes, she does know, right.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay. How did she react when?
Speaker 2:Let me do. Oh my God, get out quick.
Speaker 1:Look, I've got a friend. Oh sorry, they're not a friend anymore because they're a cunt right.
Speaker 3:They're useful sometimes.
Speaker 1:No, not this one, but he was Okay. So if I met you on the street, right, and we started having a conversation, I'm not going to go oh, john's gay, right, or John likes men. It's just not what I'm going to do. You're very sorry. Yeah, anyway, you're very, you're very, very, very straight.
Speaker 1:Acting is our Don, and so I'm not going to automatically go oh, yeah, definitely gay, whereas this friend of mine, right, or ex-friend of mine, is so overtly gay. It's not funny. All right, now he's been married for 30-plus years, right, his wife definitely knows about him. Do I know this person? No, you never got the pleasure, thankfully. Okay, right, but she definitely knows about him because when I'd separate, not from this ex, but from one of my other exes this is how long I'd known them for right, he got a new boyfriend. This is how long I'd known him for right, he got a new boyfriend.
Speaker 1:The boyfriend didn't like the way that he was treating his wife because he was going to places like Arrows and places like Beats and different things right behind his wife's back and even to the point where he would have men over to his house, right that he shared with his wife, right over to his house, right, that he shared with his wife, right. And so this guy actually sent a letter and an email to his wife and said hey, your husband's doing this behind your back right Now. She said to me this fucking arsehole's telling lies about Brett, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I thought, yeah, he's not right, because your husband clearly sucks dick. You picked me as gay on day one when we started working together 100 years ago, so you clearly know what gay men look like. But you're sitting here telling me that you've been married to this guy for 30 plus years and you don't realise that he's gay. She knew.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she would have to. She knew, she knew. Some people just do it because they don't want to create any more issues.
Speaker 1:Well, I think it was financial for her. It was a bit of a combination of everything for her. I think she wanted to have some. She wanted a husband.
Speaker 2:And I think the people that we know, that are married, that we've spoken to and they're not trapped, but they feel like they can't leave that relationship because there's too much to lose. They've got kids, they've got everything else, and I get it 100%. Everybody's different and as long as you're happy and you're not hurting anybody and I get it 100%, everybody's different and you know, as long as you're happy and you're not hurting anybody, and as long as that person, if they know about it, is, you know, understandable to your needs as well, then I think everything can work out. You know what I mean. So your situation is obviously she knows, but she's not going to question you anymore because, at the end of the day, you know, she trusts you enough to believe in herself that you're not doing it anymore. Well, she's never asked me. Well, there you go.
Speaker 3:So it's not causing any issues, is it no, exactly, well, yeah, well, we don't.
Speaker 1:What day is this? Have you felt pressure to keep it secret from her?
Speaker 3:Oh, I don't think about it. Okay, when I go to the spas or see people. It's there or none.
Speaker 2:Do you feel, when you're around the family environment and you've got your wife there, do you find sometimes that you wish that it could be the other way around, where you could just be a little bit more free and you could just like talk openly to her and say, look, you know, I met this guy. Blah, blah, blah. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Have you ever accidentally gone and checked him out?
Speaker 3:Well, funny a couple of people on TV, I'll go oh he's good looking Okay. Oh he's good looking Okay.
Speaker 2:Oh, he's not bad looking, but then other guys and straight guys do that as well, yeah that's right, so it's not towards you know, but have you ever sort of like got to the point where you've almost dropped yourself in it Several times? Okay, several times. And do you sort of like get flustered and go off? No, okay. And do you sort of get flustered and?
Speaker 3:go off. No, I try to separate everything. Yeah, I won't cause an argument to go out, because if I'm at home, I'll just stay at home. Yeah, and we've been married for 200 years. Who wants to argue anyway?
Speaker 2:Well, I think when you've gone past that point, you know so you're more cohabiting.
Speaker 3:I'm not going to argue about who put the milk away.
Speaker 1:No, I'll just fucking do my job and put the milk away, even if you've left it out, bitch.
Speaker 3:Yeah, or who's going to be doing the washing up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just do it, just do it?
Speaker 2:yeah, because you've got grown-up children, you've got grown-up children.
Speaker 3:I've got grown-up children and grandchildren Respectable jobs.
Speaker 2:Yep, yep, and I've got grandchildren, do you?
Speaker 3:think that they secretly know. I think, okay, one of my child is gay. Okay yep, so I don't know if that person knows.
Speaker 2:Right okay. They probably tweaked. And how were you towards them, were you? You know, because they're open to you. It must make you feel good in yourself, thinking okay, you know what I mean. I'm glad that they or you know, whoever it might be, can.
Speaker 3:I'm trying to keep the sex out of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:When they came out? Yeah, they were scared.
Speaker 2:Well, that's good though, because you can relate internally, but that's a normal feeling though?
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I knew yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, I knew yeah. And did your wife know as well? She picked it Right. Okay, she picked it Okay. Okay, she picked it Okay. But you were both accepting of it, of course, exactly, no, exactly, I know.
Speaker 3:It's your child Exactly and the love you had for that child before shouldn't change afterwards, and that's exactly how I felt when I came out to my parents as well.
Speaker 2:I didn't feel there was any indifference at all. I mean, they accepted me and they didn't even question it. They just said as long as you're happy, we're happy. You know what I?
Speaker 1:mean. So you say of course, but unfortunately there's so many parents out there, there's so many.
Speaker 3:I cannot understand where the love goes from the time they say Mom, dad. I'm gay to two seconds later. Yeah, I know when you're getting out of the house.
Speaker 2:you're being ushered out of the house, and I think it's mainly religion and cultural beliefs that cause that.
Speaker 3:more so, I think it's because of pride.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, there we go. Social social. Yeah, exactly, again, here we go Pride, social social.
Speaker 3:The pride your mother and father doesn't want to be embarrassed because of their child is gay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and like why does it fucking matter? It's 2025. So if we were in a different era, do you think? Oh dear.
Speaker 2:So quick question for you again, again is had you known or had you experienced this um attraction with having sex with men before you got married, do you reckon that you would have ever got married? Did you still want like for me? I I knew I was gay, but I I knew that I also I didn't Okay. Is that your phone?
Speaker 1:It's all right.
Speaker 2:I thought it was our podcast.
Speaker 1:So did I.
Speaker 2:It's like what.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so what was the question Sorry?
Speaker 2:So if he knew what he knows now, would he have ever got married?
Speaker 1:Well, I think yeah, because he'd gotten married after, I guess.
Speaker 2:Look for me.
Speaker 3:I got married after the rape.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but what I'm saying is, had you experienced what you experience now, as in your excitement about meeting up with guys over the years, if you'd had that prior to meeting your wife, would have you still gone down that path of getting married? No, okay.
Speaker 3:I met my wife and I knew I was going to marry her.
Speaker 2:That's good, because I mean for me. I wanted to have her children. Yeah, I wanted to have kids as well.
Speaker 1:You wanted to have her children okay. You could be very rich by that. See, we've done some really good work on Don. We've disguised his voice. Well, we're telling you it's a he, but you don't know that, do you listeners? Could be a she. Well, it depends how cold it is. It depends how cold it is. Correct, correct, correct. So community and belonging, All right. So in your current state of play, do you feel part of the LGBT community at all? Do you feel like you fit into it? No, no.
Speaker 3:I understand them Do you.
Speaker 1:Can you please explain it to me?
Speaker 3:I understand them, but I don't know why they keep adding letters to it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, well, they've just taken some off. Have they letters to it? Yeah, although they've just taken some off, have they? Yeah, it's now just LGBTQ plus. The IA is gone again because the plus includes the.
Speaker 2:IA. That's because IA took it out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, ai took it out, AI took it out.
Speaker 3:It's a bit like that KFC thing, but one letter off being fucked. You can edit that.
Speaker 1:I'm not fucking editing shit. I don't do the editing thing. Dave knows about that. Dave knows about that, yep, all right. Editing thing Dave knows about that. Dave knows about that, yep, alright. So is there any other questions, dave, because I know.
Speaker 3:There's a spotlight there.
Speaker 2:I wonder why it's not on. I want to ask you a question as well.
Speaker 3:You can ask anything you like, dave, when you had multiple guys at one time.
Speaker 2:What?
Speaker 1:do you think I am All like this? Hang on, hang on excuse me ask now ask your question, because then I'm going to explain. I want to tell a funny story about don um go. You tell you ask your question.
Speaker 2:That was the question, so I said you know. So, basically, when you experience having multiple guys at one time, did you feel nervous or did you feel that excitement, or did you not have a clue what was going on? It happened so quickly because sometimes it can, we can go, we can go to church and suddenly there's like one-on-one or three people and then suddenly there's a whole fucking room and they're all fucking with each other by all means.
Speaker 3:yeah, Sometimes you go to the confession room. Yep, and with one and six more comes in. Yeah, and you're done?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know right. Oh, and what about having anal sex?
Speaker 1:So Don just said confession.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:So where you confess, you repent, all right, yeah, so do you recall the time where we were standing in the hallway and chatting with some young guy and Don just basically came up, dropped to his knees? Started sucking his dick then looked up and said sorry and then just kept going back to it.
Speaker 2:He looked up and said sorry and then just kept going back to it.
Speaker 1:He looked up and said oh, do you mind, it was fucking great, it was a fucking. Well, it was one of the bravest You're not forward, going backwards. Are you? It was the bravest moment I've seen? And it was, it was, it was brilliant, it was sheer brilliance said look it was.
Speaker 2:It was, yeah, phenomenal, but you did see him, didn't you? Oh, yeah, but what I'm saying? Yeah, but it happened again later on, because there's another one, don, that you followed around. Was it the same one? It was different guy, no same day. And you, you seem to have like this spring in yourself that day. You were just going from one to another and you see, somebody you sound like and they think if we started talking, you just dropped your knees, aren't we all?
Speaker 2:yeah, and then you went down and did the same thing again and you looked up and you see somebody and they think, if we started talking you'd just drop your knees. I'm nothing but a slut, Aren't we all? And then you went down and did the same thing again and he looked up and he was like oh, he liked it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he did. He said carry on, didn't he? Oh, you've got skills, there's no denying that yeah there's no denying that You've got some but yeah, I would never go to the church. If you did it yourself, yeah, I probably would, but I don't know. Would you okay if you could suck your own dick? Would you swallow? Oh yeah, I would.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah I would.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I wouldn't swallow everyone else's, so why not my own? Exactly, I swallow everyone else's, so why not?
Speaker 2:my own.
Speaker 1:Exactly. So that's been a few questions there, you can always put it in a cup. Yeah, oh no, I wouldn't drink it. Once it's actually out, all right. Once it's out of the body, it doesn't get back in, as simple as that. That doesn't mean where it is. So, yeah, um, now that part, um, I want again. I want to thank you for your openness and honesty in that part of the conversation.
Speaker 2:All right, um, so um there's a lot more questions that we'd like to ask you, more questions. It's one of those things.
Speaker 1:We're going to do some preparation next time instead of just freaking, asking, chat to you, but you have to ask a couple of questions. But now we're going to get into this fun part and then we're going to come back for part two. We're going to get into the fun part of this, this next segment spit swallow gargle. The choice is yours. The fully grown homo is our dirty little horse. Yeah, we are, absolutely, absolutely. We are. So for those listeners that don't know what spit swallow gargle is and our guest really has never experienced this before so we're going to Hang on a minute.
Speaker 1:Oh okay, you've spitted, you've swallowed and you've gargled. No denying that, not the third. So we're gonna. You've spit it, you've swallowed it and you've gargled. No denying that right, not the third, so I'm going to explain it to you. So to spit is well, that's probably the person you want the least right. To swallow right Probably the middle right and to gargle is when you're really showing off.
Speaker 2:So that's the kind of that, see I always that's Right, and to gargle is when you're really showing off.
Speaker 1:So that's the kind of that that's the hottest. Dave thinks that gargling isn't the hottest.
Speaker 2:No, I think spitting is the worst. I'd rather swallow Me too.
Speaker 1:But swallowing, swallowing, everyone swallows.
Speaker 3:That way they don't get away.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but gargling, because when you gargle you then swallow at the same time. You're cleaning your teeth. Yeah, you go, you go. Ah, yeah, fuck off. Look at me showing off. But yeah, it's like you're playing with the babies, aren't you Putting the babies in the, in the, in the fun pen in the nursery and in the pen on the way. So we've got three super hot guys right, which has chosen all right today for today's episode. We've all had some input, obviously, but today we have Chris Hemsworth. We've got Liam Hemsworth. We were going to use Luke, but he's short and fat and not attractive.
Speaker 2:He is, he's still okay.
Speaker 1:He's still all right from a Hemsworth point of view. Yeah, but as usual because okay. I'm gay dave's gay don is whatever. Whatever the fuck he wants to be on at the moment. All right, um, so he's actually chosen henry cavill because he's human. And why the fuck wouldn't you choose henry cavill? I think henry actually is on all the lists he's ever had I think henry literally makes it onto every single episode in one form or another.
Speaker 2:Well look at him. I know, right.
Speaker 1:Trust me. I do daily. I fucking look at him.
Speaker 3:I actually would like to see how hung he is.
Speaker 2:He would be hung, I reckon definitely I think he'd have to be Definitely being.
Speaker 3:British, he can't have good looks. And well hung, no, if he were British, well hung, no, he'd be a British. Yeah, he'd be uncut He'd be uncut no.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he'd be nice and cut Big balls. I reckon, yeah, I reckon he'd have a nice fat slob. That's where I get it from.
Speaker 1:Yeah, fucking Jesus, I want to know, I just want to know. Even if I have to be on his deathbed and perform his autopsy, I I'd even look then. No, that'd be sad, I'd still look then. No, but yeah, we're talking 100 years into the future, obviously because I don't want to die just yet and I don't want him to die ever. But yeah, I want to be vampires together. Oh, that'd be cool Anyway.
Speaker 3:Who are we getting off the?
Speaker 1:subject, that's me. That's me way off subject, as usual, that's for sure. Me off subject, me adhd brain. But yeah, um, so spit, swallow or gargle. Don will ask you first, as you're the special guest chris hemsworth, henry cavill or liam hemsworth, which one would you spit, which one would you swallow, which one would you go? So let's go. Which one would you spit? Liam, liam, you're going to spit Liam. Alrighty, all right. And then who are you going to swallow? Chris? Chris, you're going to swallow Chris. Okay, and so that means you're going to gargle Henry Cavill, I'll gargle, I fucking.
Speaker 3:For the first, for the first time, I'll gargle.
Speaker 1:You'll try it. You'll try it, and I guess, what a specimen to try it. On. Fucking hell, dave, hit me. What are yours? What are you going to spit? Who are you going to spit, dave?
Speaker 2:I'll probably spit. Chris Hemsworth, you'll spit.
Speaker 1:Chris, yeah, okay, have you seen him?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've seen all three of them.
Speaker 1:Dude, he has AI'd them, probably. But yeah, who are you going to swallow? Swallow would be. Henry Henry who are you going to gargle, liam?
Speaker 3:obviously just get more into your body when you swallow yeah, I think swallow.
Speaker 2:See, for me, swallowing is the ultimate.
Speaker 1:It's number one for me see, I'm definitely going to spit Liam, all right, so I'm with you, don, there, and I'm going to swallow Chris and I'm going to gargle the living fuck out of.
Speaker 3:Henry.
Speaker 1:And I'm going to spit it back out and swallow it again, then gargle it again. I'm going to do everything with it and I'm going to do everything with it, and I'm going to rub it all over my body and then I'm going to fucking keep it warm and then get him cloned and he can just live. Okay, you're scaring me now. I'm creepy as fuck, I know.
Speaker 3:The worst thing about it. I've just seen buddy pictures, yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm not doing it. Pretty much, yeah, Pretty much. All right. So that's been Swallow and Gargle. And now, Dave, we're going to take you over for topic two with our special guest Don.
Speaker 2:So this is a little bit more in-depth and it's a little bit personal and basically, for the point of this podcast, it's more about understanding and also about how you, as an individual, was able to cope with it and also bounce through to being who, the person you are today. Okay so, as we know and the people don't know at the moment, but you went through a life-changing experience I don't know how many years ago it was now where you were diagnosed with prostate cancer 2011.
Speaker 2:Okay, so you're talking about 14 years ago 14 years, which is incredible, really, because things have changed so much in that time as well. So can you remember what led you to being diagnosed?
Speaker 3:I was at work. Yep, I was drinking a hell of a lot of water. Yep, I was eating a lot of lollies Everything I got a sweet tooth.
Speaker 2:So almost like diabetes sort of symptoms I'm thinking diabetes, yep.
Speaker 3:At the end I stood at the top of the place that I work, yep, and I said I've got to get to the doctors. Okay, I wasn't, I don't think I. No, I wasn't. I wasn't exploring with men, then Yep.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:That was. That's another question for a later time. Yeah, so I took myself down to the doctors, explained to him about the water, the lollies, the cakes, everything. Yep, I've got a sweet tooth.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Anyway, he said you've got prostate cancer. Oh fuck, Just by looking at me, Right, okay, Anyway. So he takes me off to get a blood test. Yes, he did put the finger up.
Speaker 1:Okay, because they don't do that anymore.
Speaker 3:No, but I think he left his watch there.
Speaker 1:I think he left his watch there and that's when you decided hey, this is fun, I want to watch time fly.
Speaker 3:Anyway, so I go off see the specialist, one of the best specialists in New South Wales. Yep, I was on a tablet for 18 months, so the blood test came back positive.
Speaker 2:yeah, positive, right. Okay, how did you feel?
Speaker 3:Oh shit, well, I am going to say it. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, right, yep, and I have a twin Yep Was diagnosed with cancer as well. Right, yep, and I have a twin Yep Was diagnosed with cancer as well. Right, okay, ten years prior, right.
Speaker 1:So it's hereditary.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 2:Cancer is hereditary. My family is the same.
Speaker 3:Anyway. So I thought, well, just take it by its stride, yep, handle it, do what you have to do, get it done. Um, and then I it was actually my wife's birthday and I said I'm not liking, because I went from 86 solid kilos to 69 kilos. Wow, In 18 months, wow, oh shit. And I was thin. Yeah, not healthy, but thin.
Speaker 2:Because you've got a good body on your lap. Yeah, I've got a great body.
Speaker 1:Oh, you keep telling me yeah, you have.
Speaker 2:You, you've got a good body on your lap.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I've got a great body. Oh, you keep telling me yeah, you have, you, do, you do. We're not the only ones. Yeah, I know Everybody else likes it too, but that's another story. So I decided to go and see another doctor. He looked at my paperwork, did a few more tests, did not let me leave that office until I wrote the, signed the certificates and everything like that to go into hospital. Within seven weeks I was operated on.
Speaker 2:If it wasn't so, you were stage four. Yeah, I was stage four.
Speaker 1:I was three months off dying, okay, so who were the other doctor that just decided you were going to take tablets.
Speaker 3:He was the second best, whatever the name was Prostate cancerist.
Speaker 2:Whatever the word is.
Speaker 1:Proctologist, arse doctor yeah.
Speaker 3:In New South Wales Okay. Wow, so he only prescribed tablets he prescribed a tablet for me to take every day.
Speaker 1:Wow, fuck Mate. So second, if you know something's wrong with your body, pursue it.
Speaker 3:You know how your dick works.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I wasn't horny, yep, I wasn't. I actually got accused at that time for having an affair. Okay, because I wasn't excited.
Speaker 1:I just wanted to go to bed, go to sleep Right okay, and then all this is Did she know part of the prostate cancer stuff though? So she was aware of that?
Speaker 3:Well afterwards yeah. After yeah, before no, because yeah, but beforehand, before no.
Speaker 2:Because, going back to your symptoms, you were saying you were tired and you were urinating a lot. Yeah, yeah, I was just reeling like normal. Yeah, okay, because obviously on the list here it says the general sort of like related. It seems to block yeah, so it says here the side effects that people that haven't been diagnosed that get diagnosed suffer from are things such as pelvic pain. Did you find that your pelvic pain? I had no pain at all. Okay, what about difficulty urinating or weak flow?
Speaker 3:The flow wasn't all that, but my flow's never been strong, Right okay?
Speaker 2:And what about blood and urine? Nothing, or your se, you see nothing like that nothing okay, erectile dysfunction do you have that? Oh yes, I did for prior yeah okay yeah, obviously you mentioned about fatigue so that's another one on here and weight loss, so both of those. So so you had a few of these like common issues that people find so in your mind. The day that you had it, did you sort of like subconsciously break down inside and start thinking this is the end for me, or did you?
Speaker 3:okay, that's good, that's not me no, well, that's good, because I mean, I think I would, if you, if you know my, my history, we're fighters right, okay you come from the vikings. Yeah, yeah, we, we fight to the bitter end.
Speaker 1:But given your family history, they wouldn't have scared the fuck out of you, though. Yes, yeah. How did your wife react?
Speaker 2:to it? Was she nervous?
Speaker 3:She supported me in every way Awesome. Oh, it sounds like a theme out of the Titanic.
Speaker 2:No, but it's good, though, that you had that support around you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, she supported me made sure I was when I had the operation, because I was off work for nine weeks, couldn't lift a thing, because I had, um, what I call um, oh, what do you call it now? I had a caesar and a caesar and epidural, epidural, right, yeah, and no baby to prove it so in terms, in terms of the treatment, because obviously the severity of it and being diagnosed at stage four.
Speaker 2:You haven't got a lot of chance and you haven't got a lot of time. Okay, so the options that you were given was just straight out get it removed.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the doctor would not let the second doctor would not let me leave that room until I signed the papers for the hospital.
Speaker 2:And was there anything told to you about the success rate? Was there anything told to you about the long-term effects?
Speaker 3:He told me, if he gets it out now, I will live to a bitter end.
Speaker 2:I see To a very old age. Okay, so fast forward into the day of the operation. How did you feel in terms of?
Speaker 3:Well, they gave me a little tablet, so I never felt anything.
Speaker 2:No, but in terms of mentally-wise, how did you feel about the whole process? Were you nervous about having it was finally being done?
Speaker 3:Okay. So you felt I was nervous because at the time, yep. Okay, so you felt I was nervous because at the time Yep, oh no, before that I met the anaesthetist, and because I was 45. Yep 47.
Speaker 2:I know you tell us.
Speaker 1:I know you told us you were 30 earlier. That's the only reason I had you over. I thought fuck yeah, 30-year-old, so still very young for somebody having prostate cancer?
Speaker 2:Absolutely For a young person.
Speaker 3:Yes, the anesthetist said to me they're going to give me nerve sparing, right? Okay, yep, and I said what's that? I was going to say? What the fuck?
Speaker 1:is that.
Speaker 3:Well, that's virtually what I said. And she said she looked like she'd just come out of the Queen's Palace. I'll never forget it. God love her. She said do you want to crack a fad again? Okay, I said yes, please. And she said we're going to save all the nerves, we're going to splice and whatever all the nerves together.
Speaker 2:Because our friend we've got another friend who you know as well, yes, I do, I won't mention his name on the podcast at the moment until I know that he's safe to have it. He's on about wanting to do a podcast with us now. He went through a very similar situation, like you again a young guy. He's obviously recovering now, four years later, but I kept on telling him when I first to him about it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know right. So I think you were a good advocate for him because he was having these difficulties, as you know, he was Trying to work out because he didn't want to lose his direction, he didn't want to lose his ability to come and stuff like that, and he was putting that as a priority and I was like you can't do that, I have to admit the doctor told me, because I had a vasectomy Sorry, we just got a friend coming in Because I had a vasectomy done they said that I will not be able to come.
Speaker 3:Come again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah which is standard anyway yeah, well, not necessarily.
Speaker 3:It all depends how much you get taken out.
Speaker 1:And is it like I know there's quite a few people because this is a common procedure now, but it's quite demasculating for some men.
Speaker 3:It's higher rate of prostate cancer is the highest rate with breast cancer. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but for men that then can't come. A lot of them take it really hard Well.
Speaker 3:I was told I would not be able to come Once I go through all my… Procedures, procedures and doctor's appointments, and this, that and everything else and exercises, because you do have dick oxys, I can't say it.
Speaker 1:Dick doctor.
Speaker 3:No dick oxys.
Speaker 1:What are you?
Speaker 2:talking about the medication Exercises.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, you've got to have dick exercises, so like a physio exercise for dick yeah that's right, oh, that's not bad.
Speaker 3:Don't get excited Yourself. You've got to do it yourself Because.
Speaker 2:I know that with our friend. What a good physio. He eventually got it done and I'm glad he did, because he's with Stage 4 as well and he was grateful for me encouraging him to go through. And I said to him you know, just don't worry about anything else. So he had it done, but he was still worried that he wouldn't get erections and stuff that not have orgasms and stuff. Now, moving forward a few years, he ended up having injections to enhance the erections because he wasn't able to get it to start with. Again, they saved his nerves as much as they could. Um, they removed. It wasn't, um, it wasn't sort of like, uh, it didn't mastify into any other part of his body. So that was a good thing.
Speaker 2:But he was just so hell-bent on not being able to come, not being able to have an erection again, he lost his masculinity. So that's how he felt, especially being a gay man as well. So eventually, after speaking to his psychologist, who again was a gay guy that had had a prostatectomy as well and he was a good advocate for our friend and I kept on saying to him go and start talking to people, get into these groups. But unfortunately, when he did go, he was the youngest person there, because all the people that was having these things were like older, a lot older. So he felt really sort of like isolated. But eventually through his psychologist, who was quite a young guy as well, he realized that okay, I've still got the lift, I've got, I've got with the will to live. So moving forward for him. He's now able to get himself erections again and he said that his orgasms I don't know if you can clarify this even though he can't ejaculate because there's nothing to come out, he said, the orgasms are like so intense it's like unbelievable.
Speaker 3:They are well I might not have come, but when I blow, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll go, I'll use that word yep, but it feels so good, yeah, yeah, yeah, where before, when I was told I nearly, I nearly decked myself. Yeah, I know it's hard, isn't it? It's an easy thing to tell somebody you're not going to be able to produce semen anymore or cover. Hang on, where are we, we're not going to come, can't come. Then when you have a wank and it doesn't come out, yeah, that's where it. But you know what? I'm still alive. My motto is I have the feelings and solutions.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Well, it's not like you need it anymore, we're glad you're still here too, yeah. It's like women when they have their ovaries removed and stuff. I mean they don't have the mental cycle anymore, so they've lost a part of them as well. So it's a case of living or dying, and you're better off living and just moving forward and making the use of what you've got and enjoying life as best you can. And you've done that. You're a living thing. And our other friend, he's moved forward now and he's enjoying his life.
Speaker 3:You've got to keep your tests up.
Speaker 2:So, in terms of like your after effects, when you came out of the surgery, did you feel a sense of relief or did you have to wait until the surgery, like three or four months later, to have further tests to come back and prove that it hadn't Well?
Speaker 3:again. I was lucky that, even though I can't get hard like I would, Dr Viagra does yeah. But we're all old, we're all getting old.
Speaker 2:And that's a common thing for everybody. Anyway, I don't know.
Speaker 1:This guy stays hard. The friend that just walked in.
Speaker 2:He stays hard.
Speaker 1:I've seen players just turned up For fucking hours.
Speaker 3:Is that his job, Dr Viagra yeah.
Speaker 1:No, he hasn't, he doesn't need to, doesn't at all.
Speaker 2:I know the thing's like a rock. I was talking to him online this morning. He was getting hard in the supermarket. Just by me talking to him, he's probably walked in hard. Yeah, he is.
Speaker 3:So in a Not yet it won't be long, yeah it won't be long.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it won't be long, trust me. So, in a bit of a wrap-up of this one, if you could give some advice to people that were you, know, have any issues? What?
Speaker 3:would you say, no matter how old you are, you know your package. Yep, you know how you're feeling. There's something wrong down there. Get to the doctors? Yep, absolutely, and all it is is a blood test, unless you want the finger.
Speaker 2:But you also live in proof, the fact that you can have a normal life afterwards. You can have a good life, yeah, a good life, yeah, a very good life, and that's really commendable for you to do that, and I appreciate you talking about that.
Speaker 3:Obviously, you know it's a topic that is we can't say a lot about it because we haven't experienced it. The more we talk about it, us men, the better it'll be to get the fingers out of their ass and get to the doctors.
Speaker 2:It's like for me. I mean the only relation I can have is like I've got an enlarged prostate, as I've said to you earlier.
Speaker 3:And what did I say?
Speaker 2:So going forward, I know I'm going to have this issue again. So there are treatments for me to have my prostate shaved, but it's using a laser. But doing that process you again lose the ability to ejaculate. So that's the trade-off. But again I mean it's either that, or I can't go to the toilet or I can't, because I mean I find sometimes I do struggle with going for a week. Have you been?
Speaker 3:for a drill no I haven't been for a drill.
Speaker 2:I've been for what did I say? Cystoscopy, which basically they put a camera down your japs eye and into your bladder and then check it. Everything was fine.
Speaker 1:That's easy for you to say yeah yeah, yeah, I know it was fine, it was fine.
Speaker 2:They numbed it and it was fine. The doctor doing it was hot as fuck. So that was good. But look, it was interesting to see because I was awake for the whole process. I saw the camera going through and he was explaining to me and everything else and I was like pretty impressed, I mean but again, Hang on, are we still talking about what they were doing?
Speaker 3:or the doctor?
Speaker 2:Oh look, I got his name anyway, so that was the main thing.
Speaker 1:And he would have Facebook stalked him or Instagram stalked him, because that's what Dave does.
Speaker 2:There's something I have to go through and I've got to follow up with the doctors later on to find out why.
Speaker 3:How much later on?
Speaker 2:Not much longer, no no, I mean I've got to go back back. I've already been booked in to have a another review with the urologists, but again, I mean he didn't say there was an urgency to have that removed. He did say there wasn't, I think, no benign stuff or anything like that. But what he was saying to me was if I want to keep on having these problems with either urinary tract infections or having issues with my bladder and kidneys, he said there's an option that probably would be to shave it and then that way it would reduce the actual irritation and stuff.
Speaker 3:So it's something I've got to look into anyway, from my experience, I'd rather go for you to get another opinion.
Speaker 2:Look, I mean I've got to go and get this, I've got to go and have further analysis done first.
Speaker 1:Good pick up.
Speaker 3:Yeah, good pick up, I would like as a friend to get someone in the know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but what I'm saying is I'm not going to be the sort of person that's going to sit back and not take advantage of it, because I know I've got to do this thing. I mean, my uncle died of prostate cancer, right?
Speaker 1:So it's in the family.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my dad died of pancreatic cancer. His brother died of brain cancer. So, look, there's cancer in my family. So I'm not going to be this person that's going to ignore these symptoms. In a couple of weeks time, we'll be talking about how dave's going to got a follow-up check. Yeah, but like I said I, I'm still very conscious about it and I know that I've got to do it. My doctors are on the case, so for me, it's just like for me, I know that is something I'm going to do, but it's good listen to what you've had to say, because it allows people to understand that there is hope, but there's also a need to get things sorted.
Speaker 3:There's life after prostate yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1:So thank you again for that segment as well and your honesty and your frankness and your vulnerability in there as well. A bit crude eh no. No such thing. If you listen to our podcast, you'll hear there, no, no such thing. No such thing. Listen to our podcast, you'll hear no such thing nothing's off limits.
Speaker 1:You should hear Miami's episode from a couple of weeks ago. She talked about she told her husband not to listen because she talked about getting pegged. So, yeah, about pegging somebody yeah, it's a great fun one as well. But we're now going to do this. They're grumpy.
Speaker 3:They're gay. They've got something to say. From traffic cues to crooked cues, they'll bitch it all away. Dave and Matt's pet peeves.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we all know that Dave's a cranky Englishman. He has his pet peeves every single week, and there seems to be an endless list of them.
Speaker 3:But today, you've got to remember he is English, that's correct and they like a fucking winching pom.
Speaker 1:I am, that's for sure.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm going to start off again, Matt, with another car issue Come on, you cranky prick, Come on because you know my car issues right. I get pissed off with car new ones and they'll fucking squeak and they do my fucking cunt in head in. Put lube on it, that could be. You wouldn't be able to see fucking anything on the car then.
Speaker 3:We're talking about windscreen wipers.
Speaker 1:Well, I've heard other things that squeak. Yeah, I do get that.
Speaker 2:Especially when there's a fucking brand new car and you've got fucking problems like that.
Speaker 1:Oh, oh yeah you had so many issues with your windscreen, though, didn't you? Yeah, you had so many issues with the car or with the car. Yeah, let's not do that. We haven't got a whole fucking hour for your fucking car issues, I know, but that's my, that's my okay all right, cool, cool, cool. So I've got. I've got one that fucking. And if you're an adult listening, tie up your fucking shoelaces. All right, it does my head in. All right, who are you referring to? Always slip-ons. I was walking the street, right?
Speaker 1:I've seen this, not walking the street like as in the wall that's what we discussed last week. But I was walking the street and there was this fully grown adult and they were walking along and their shoelaces were undone. So I said, oh, just letting them know, buddy, your shoelace is undone, yeah, and just kept walking with the shoelaces undone. I'm thinking so. Then I went down the rabbit hole and Googled how many, what's the percentage of accidents that are caused from people not doing up their shoelaces? Right? And it said that it doesn't actually give you a massive percentage because there's not enough injuries reported. However, most people that are reportedly injured from not doing up their shoelaces are children, which leads me to the fact that adults generally tie up their shoelaces. So I thought you fucking idiot, Like look, True, it was no dwarf, Although we're dwar. You fucking idiot, True, it wasn't a dwarf Although we're dwarves, yeah no, it wasn't a dwarf.
Speaker 3:I'm trying to work out why he's looking at shoelaces. Yeah, I know right.
Speaker 1:Because your cock wasn't very good to look at. So I just looked down. I've just seen it. It was one of those things I don't know. I just looked at off. I thought it was a you. You're saying okay, what about you?
Speaker 3:john, what kind of jog is don? We haven't got all week. Yeah, I know stupid drivers, people who come over here and they drive like they're in their own country.
Speaker 2:Are you going to give any specific? Go on, are you talking about the other side of the road or just people with the way they drive?
Speaker 1:Okay, indian drivers, indian drivers. Okay, yeah, let's just say it. Yeah, it is what it is. They've always got a Camry. All right to start with.
Speaker 3:That's how you can know they're Indian and they are shit drivers, and they go from one lane to another. They don't even indicate.
Speaker 1:So my ex was Indian. I was in Calcutta, which is, like I said, the most beautiful shithole on the planet. It is beautiful, it's amazing, right, but they're driving over there, they drive with their hand on the horn and there ain't no such thing as rules. So I get what they do here. I get what they do here. I do get it, but you're right, it's shit. It does my head in completely. Dave hit me with another one. Junk mail, Junk mail. I fucking hate it See.
Speaker 2:I kind of like junk mail you really I do. What a fucking waste of catalogues. What's wrong with you, Dave?
Speaker 3:Catalogues of stuff that you might need In the letterbox, where you can have a look and see what you can buy next, or you throw it straight in the bin because it's got no fucking interest.
Speaker 2:No, what if you?
Speaker 1:need something in there. I love the weekender one that you flip through, that's got the same shit. The little square one. Okay, it's called Audi.
Speaker 2:No, I picked that up from the fucking shop of a one-one.
Speaker 1:It's like about an A5 size, right, it's like a notepad size and it's got like all these things in it and it's got really cool stuff and it's got discounts for fast food places that you'll never go to?
Speaker 2:Do you ever use it?
Speaker 1:Shut up, but I really like it. It's cool.
Speaker 2:It's very cool. I like Junk Mile. Do you not think it's just like fucking wasting?
Speaker 1:your time. No, I love Junk Mile. Well they can just send you a fucking thing. They do send me emails every time I sign up. What?
Speaker 2:about your social, Matt Socials. Can you not just get the same thing on your socials?
Speaker 1:Nah, there's something different about it. What's?
Speaker 3:wrong with?
Speaker 1:you. Besides, I remember way back to a first episode, way back when, when you used to love your mum's catalogues yeah, but that was a different catalogue and jerk off over them.
Speaker 2:That was a different catalogue, no, so that's junk mail technically, it wasn't left in my fucking letterbox, that was Avon.
Speaker 3:Avon yeah, but that.
Speaker 2:Or even better, tupperware, tupperware. Oh fuck, tupperware, tupperware.
Speaker 1:Oh fuck, tupperware makes me hard. Now it was. I used to love Tupperware, fuck it. That was amazing. Tupperware's great.
Speaker 2:I'm on about fucking mail that gets put in a junk box, so junk mail, yeah, okay, all right.
Speaker 1:The next one is okay, and don't judge me because I'm wearing them in the house and I'm okay with wearing them in the house. But Crocs outside of the house for an adult, again it's a no, all right. And Miami, I'm talking to you, right, crocs outside of a house don't belong, all right, children, fine, they're fine, right, but outside a house, hard, no, hard, no. On this, miami wears them.
Speaker 2:Oh look, I mean I'm not going to be judgmental in that regard. I think at the end of the day, if they come to Fulham and people like, use them, that's fine. It's when you see them in a suit and they're wearing them, that's when I really get.
Speaker 1:Oh no, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've seen them. I bet they're Indian. There goes part of our List of shit, but hey.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's alright, pick us up, pick us.
Speaker 1:It's not personal, no, no, it's not. But yeah, but you're right. Have you got any others? Don, no, I've got one more, I've got one more Of course you do. Come on, okay.
Speaker 2:What is it With over legislation In this fucking country? You've got, You've got federal, you've got state and then you've got fucking council that have to stipulate fucking rules and regulations to you because you live in a certain part of the fucking country.
Speaker 1:You kind of touched on this last week when we were discussing.
Speaker 2:No, but it grinds my shit.
Speaker 3:I think he wants to make a whole episode on that.
Speaker 2:No, but it grinds my shit, though. You can go from one state to another and basically you have got so many different fucking regulations.
Speaker 1:Different rules. Definitely, definitely, it definitely grinds his gears, grinds my gears Definitely, grinds his gears 100% Because, you're right, you go from being allowed to do 60 kilometres an hour in New South Wales or 50 on the fucking main roads or wherever, but then when you go to a different state you can only do 40, right, or you've got to change your fucking licence because you're going into another fucking state.
Speaker 2:You're still in the same country.
Speaker 1:Or even different rules. Road rules from Sydney to Melbourne right, you can't turn right from the right lane. In Melbourne, You've got to turn out from the left lane, so you're almost crossing over traffic.
Speaker 3:Well, thank God, I live in Sydney, that's so confusing Talking about this very, very quickly.
Speaker 2:I know we're going off topic slowly and way over time.
Speaker 2:But there was an incident I don't know if you saw on the socials this week in Penrith there was a girl that had an accident on her car on the roundabout. Right now she posted on it saying has anybody got dash cam footage? Because she wanted to prove her innocence of this thing. Right, and everybody was slating her saying looking at the damage to your car, it means you didn't give way, or you, you had the accident on the roundabout and everybody said well, you've got to give way to the right. And then someone said no, the rules have changed. You don't give way to the right anymore you give way to on the roundabout.
Speaker 1:First on the roundabout.
Speaker 2:I don't fucking understand that you should use your blinker as well. Yeah, but I think you still have to give way to the right, because if someone's coming around, it's a common fucking thing.
Speaker 1:You don't just pull out.
Speaker 3:No, no, no it's first on the roundabout.
Speaker 1:You're kidding me, so you can just pull out.
Speaker 2:Actually. I mean, you go from different states and they've got different regulations again. It's just fucking bullshit. It is generally first on the roadmap. That's my pet peeve anyway, that's another chapter. It is.
Speaker 1:Anyway, then some. All right, we've been your fully grown homos with our special guest, don, today. So we'd like to thank Don for coming on. Yep and I've been.
Speaker 3:Thank you very much for having me.
Speaker 1:And I'm Dave, as usual. And you're Don. I'm Don. That's a wrap from us. We've been your Fully Grown Homos and we look forward to opening your mind, your ears and your curiosities. Don't forget to like, comment and subscribe and share our podcast with your curious friends. You can contact us on Fully Grown Homos podcast at gmailcom or any of our socials. Fully Grown Homos Podcast.
