Fully Grown Homos Podcast
Fully Grown Homos Podcast
We met a bestselling author and accidentally saw a broken possum
Ever had a week so jam-packed with adventures that you barely have time to process one experience before diving into the next? That's exactly what happened to us over the past fortnight, and we're spilling all the tea!
We kicked things off at our friend's 50th birthday bash where we couldn't help but notice a particularly handsome 6'4" basketball player who had everyone's attention. Between devouring the most incredible Persian feta dip (courtesy of Aldi!) and blue cheese that even converted the non-believers among us, we had deep conversations with our amazing female friends - each one an absolute powerhouse in her own right. From Amber's emotional wisdom to Helen's entrepreneurial success with her postpartum product "Happy Cat," these women continue to inspire us with their strength and hustle.
Amid all this socializing, we were also tackling the chaos of moving house! With the help of friends (special shoutout to Miami who immediately attacked an overgrown tree with secateurs the moment she arrived), we managed to transport countless plants, furniture, and Matt's extensive collection of possessions to the new place. This podcast marks our first recording in the new space, which we're excited to set up properly for future guests.
Perhaps our most entertaining misadventure came when we decided to visit Sydney Sauna on what turned out to be an "all-gender night." Let's just say we encountered some unexpected anatomy in the spa that had Matt absolutely horrified! While we fully support our trans and gender-diverse community, the experience provided some hilariously awkward moments that perfectly exemplify how we often find ourselves in situations that become perfect fodder for this podcast.
We also attended Rob Goddard's book launch for "Behind the Smile," a powerful exploration of the masks gay men wear throughout their lives. And finally, Dave had a satisfying confrontation with someone who had previously used homophobic language, proving that sometimes standing up to bullies is the perfect resolution.
So grab a drink, settle in, and enjoy this jam-packed episode of gay misadventures, thoughtful reflections, and plans for future escapades. Have questions about gay life or suggestions for topics? We'd love to hear from you!
If you want to send us a question or would like our thoughts on a particular topic you can contact us at Fullygrownhomospodcast@gmail.com or contact us on any of our socials at Fully Grown Homos Podcast.
Welcome to Fully Grown Homos, a podcast about our adventures as fully grown homos navigating today's world full of inquisitive friends, questions about gay life and the unexplored activities of a life lived as fully grown homos.
Speaker 2:We'll discuss the gay 101s, sex sexuality and topics we don't even know yet, as we want your input into what you want to hear. Nothing is off limits, so email us on the Fully Grown Homos podcast at gmailcom or message any of our socials.
Speaker 1:Fully Grown Homos. With Dave and Matt on today's show Boy, oh boy. Have we got a lot to cover off, haven't we, Dave? Cover off is another word. Well, undercover off, getting off what? No, I didn't say that we did all of the above. We did all of the above, so we've had a busy couple of weeks. I think it's been a couple of weeks since we've been at you last. Yeah, we had a really busy, really enjoyable couple of weeks.
Speaker 2:So we um, well, we do, yeah, we've done fucking lots. Well, we'll start off with not last week, the week before, yeah, and we went to a birthday party we went to a friend's my best friend's husband um 50th birthday party.
Speaker 1:You know them as um cleopatra and mark anthony um, we know there's something different, obviously, because we use pseudonyms and they also know who they are. Went to a 50th birthday party and absolutely awesome night, fantastic night, great to catch up with friends like Amber and Helen and Vanessa and other people we caught up with as well.
Speaker 2:Lots and lots and lots of people, people I've never met before, but I got to know them quite quickly. One guy in particular that you, or all of us, took a gravitation.
Speaker 1:This is 6 foot 4 or maybe 6 foot 5 he's still basketball playing yeah basketball player. He's handsome as fuck.
Speaker 2:We love his name and we had.
Speaker 1:Mark.
Speaker 2:Yeah, mark, that's not Mark Anthony, though no, that's not Mark Anthonyony, though no, that's not Mark Antony.
Speaker 1:There's another Mark, this guy, but a really handsome guy, really nice guy. As soon as he walked out the door, Hela went foof and Vanessa went foof, and it was just like yeah, the battle is on. He looked a bit like.
Speaker 2:Murray Bartlett. Yeah, if you've never watched White Lotus then you'll know who Murray Bartlett is.
Speaker 1:If you don't know who Murray Bartlett is, go and Google him, because it's worth the fucking search, that's for sure. Yeah, definitely, but he was quite a handsome man and very striking.
Speaker 1:He was very handsome, very handsome, and we all sort of thought, oh hello. But yeah, it turns out he was married Fucking hell who knows Lucky wife. But that's all right. No, he, he, he did make mention that. Well, that doesn't really matter these days anyway. So it was quite um when I was talking about bjs and guys and stuff like that and yep. So it was like, oh, and don't tease me like that, daddy, um, you know a lot teasing this week.
Speaker 2:Oh my god. We'll talk about that later.
Speaker 1:We'll talk about lots of yeah, lots of straight men fucking temptation. I'll tell you what Damn but go back to the birthday.
Speaker 2:So the birthday was great, mark Antony. It's okay, we've got to stop the podcast Two seconds. Mark's got a phone call coming through.
Speaker 1:All right so sorry. I had an important call I had to take then. But yeah, so Mark Antony's birthday.
Speaker 2:Talking of Mark Antony, I mean he looks absolutely amazing. Oh, he's a handsome man he really is.
Speaker 1:He is a fucking good looking man To describe him is like to me.
Speaker 2:He looks a lot like an A-list movie star from the 19.
Speaker 1:And he's recently had his teeth done. Yeah Right, but he's got such a great jawline. He's got such a great jawline. He's always been a very handsome man, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, right, undeniably there. Um, but the he's just had his teeth done as well, um, and he smiles a lot more than he used to. Yeah, and you probably don't know that because you didn't really know him prior to meeting me. Yeah, but he sort of he was very hesitant to smile where now he is, you know when he?
Speaker 1:you know, yeah, when you're conscious conscious about your teeth, but but he smiles and he's like, and it's just, it's really good to see him smile. Yeah, um so, and he's, and he's looking fit. Um yeah, he's dropped some kilos and looking really fit.
Speaker 2:No, no, he looked, he's always looked good, yeah, yeah, but he's just, you sit there and you go holy fuck um.
Speaker 1:I hope cleo's climbing that.
Speaker 2:But, like I said, he reminds me of the really classical sort of like.
Speaker 1:A-list. Yeah, he's got Harry Grant and stuff like that. Yeah, correct the people with that sort of Jimmy Dean sort of look.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're really amazingly good-looking.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and because of his height he could actually model as well.
Speaker 2:But he's a fun person as well.
Speaker 1:But he's also a great guy and a great human, so and and so is his wife and all his friends as well, and all his friends as well.
Speaker 1:They were great as well, but the party itself now the catering the brisket like was sensational. I put so much food on my plate because there was so much food we discovered. If you're from Australia and you have an Audi, or even if you're from a country that doesn't have an Audi, one of our friends put it onto this dip. It's a Persian feta dip, right, and I love Persian feta anyway, but it's a Persian feta dip and, holy Christ, it was delicious because Cleo had some there and it was just beautiful.
Speaker 2:She also brought a blue cheese from there as well. I don't know what it was called. Yeah, it was just an Aldi blue cheese. I don't like blue cheese at all, but this one it was just a very subtle flavour, but it was just enough. It's yummy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was very, very, very more.
Speaker 2:It was very yummy and Amber got me eating all that.
Speaker 1:Yes, she did so. Yeah, now it's a slippery slope to the deepest, darkest blue, because blue is palatable, I know.
Speaker 2:But while we were at the party I mean, we had so many conversations, we talked to everyone, but we also sat in a group with Amber, Vanessa, Helen and who else was there? Courtney came back and forth, didn't she?
Speaker 1:Yeah, Claire came back and forth as in. And who else was there? Oh, Courtney came back and forth, didn't she? Yeah, Claire came back and forth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As in there was another person there as well. Yeah, so we talked to lots and lots of people throughout the night as well, so it mingled through with everyone. You were up there chatting with the guy that a friend of that yes.
Speaker 2:Adam. He's kept in contact with a lot of his school friends since he was 12 yeah, yeah yeah, and I was amazed because a lot of people don't do that, you know I mean, yeah, correct, but one of his mates actually has a brewery, a micro brewery type thing, and he actually invented a couple of um pale ales and lagers for adam's, you know, for the birthday I suppose you know I mean.
Speaker 2:So you know yeah and it was just very, very nice, to say the least. I mean, I got addicted to whatever what it was.
Speaker 1:I can't remember what it was well, let's not go addicted, because that sounds really bad it sounds like you've got a slippery side.
Speaker 2:You really enjoyed it. Yeah, I did enjoy it because I was drinking far more than I would normally yeah, because you normally only have like one, two a night night and that's it. But I was like, really hooked on this, you were smashing them back. It's so tasty.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it was really good. The food was fantastic, the company was amazing, obviously, but like it was just, it was just. I'm not going to say it, come on say it. Guess who has literally just sent a message through. She wouldn't know that we're doing this, she has no idea. But Miami, I'm sorry, brittany, you, literally, you know how we said that.
Speaker 2:You always manage the text when we do the podcast, you can hear that come through, we're not denying this. The time is. I'll give you a timestamp. The time is 1902. Yep and it's also Monday, the 9th of June, so there you go, brittany, yeah.
Speaker 1:So we have a group chat called our Hose Chat, and we created it when we went on holidays for me, Dave, Miami and Brittany and she's just responded to a message that Miami put in there probably about an hour ago. So it's not like she's just come out of the blue, but it's just so funny, it's bizarre.
Speaker 2:She doesn't believe us, does she?
Speaker 1:No, she doesn't believe that she's the one that only does it, she's literally. She had a go at it didn't she?
Speaker 2:It's not me. It's not me Every time I say it, but it is. It's so freaking funny I love it, I love it, it's almost like she's in tune with when we're doing the podcast.
Speaker 1:When we put our headphones on, she's like boom, it's fangirling, it's awesome.
Speaker 2:So I hope you're smiling at this, brittany, because this is just true delight, because it's fucking hysterical.
Speaker 1:I've got the biggest smile. It's about to start laughing very loud. Food was great, company was great, but we had some really good chats. Now you got to know Amber on a way deeper level than you've ever done.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that was really engaging, I loved that conversation Because you sat on the couch with Amber for a good quantity of the night, absolutely, and vice versa, and I always thought she was an amazing woman anyway, but I hold her even more in that level.
Speaker 1:More in that regard.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because she has been through a lot in her life, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:But she is just so funny, she's just so gorgeous, she's yeah, she's the full package.
Speaker 1:She's a wonderful human, she is and that's why I gravitated towards her. Um, well, I gravitated towards her because back in my early in 2000, late 2008, yep, 2007, 2008, sometime a long time ago, before even some of our listeners were born I did amateur theatre back in the day and I was on stage and I couldn't remember this block of lines for the life of me. So I carried my piece of paper up on stage and Amber called me on it at the after party. She said do you ever fucking need help learning lines? Call me, I will help you. And I went I like this girl, I really like this girl. So, um, we hit it off from there and we've been like friends ever since, and it's an amazing friends.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I had a great.
Speaker 1:I had a great conversation with her, definitely, and that was worth every we always and and I love chatting with Vanessa yeah, absolutely love it, because again she's she's been through a lot as well. She's been through a shit ton Single mum and just a beautiful human, yeah, another beautiful human, yeah, and just got lots to say, and just so intelligent, yeah, and just so emotionally available, yeah, and she's doing a coaching business. Now We'll get some details on that coaching business and we'll share that with our listeners because, again, anyone from Sydney Because she's educational background isn't she?
Speaker 1:She's educational background but she's doing coaching on trauma coaching and things like that which, look, they come into your life people like trauma coaches come into your life at the right time, they do and stuff like that. So somebody out there listening might find oh hang on, I've gone through some trauma and I didn't know there was such a thing as a trauma coach, but because of her past and stuff like that, one day we'll get her on.
Speaker 2:She's done a couple of podcasts herself, so then we had the other lady, which is another likeful lady we got the privilege to talk to, which is Helen, Helen, and Helen is a cat.
Speaker 1:Helen is amazing, like what a fucking boss bitch, yeah she is. She's a beautiful blonde, right, big boobies, right the whole kit. You look at her and you think what a gorgeous woman. And then you have a chat with her and she's got brains. She is the boss right now. All of our friends have got brains, like miami no, sorry, not miami yeah, um, um, what's like cleo? Cleo is like super intelligent, got like 97.8 in the tr and highly, highly educated in the education field as well. But Helen is a boss bitch, right.
Speaker 1:So I don't know much about vaginas, but she comes from a business background, but she actually went through some stuff herself, Yep, which inspired her, which inspired her to actually create a Product, a product, a postpartum kit for women that have just had a baby. Yep, because I'm guessing that's what postpartum is. Yeah, postpartum yeah Is when you had a baby and when you're coming home from hospital. So it's called happy cat right now, happy cat being a bit of a playful thing on a vagina, cat pussy, all that kind of stuff, and the logo is it's actually a love heart very clever and it's got like a I don't want to say vagina, but I know I'm getting that it's the labia lips, it's, it's, it's like the lips of a vagina.
Speaker 1:It looks like the shape of what a dumbass white gay man would call a vag, like it looks like. Looks like the shape of that, that oval like shape, the one one that I don't want to look at because it makes me get yuck. Um, all right, but it's a heart, and it's got that talk a bit more on that later on, won't we?
Speaker 1:oh, we will I'm gonna fuck it and I'll tell you all about dave's cuntness, excuse me, but yeah, but the Happy Cat logo is like the heart with the vagina thing inside shape inside, which is so clever. As soon as I seen it I went that's amazing, that is so clever, you're so cheeky and naughty, but that's going to capture attention. But she's done really well for herself, hasn't she? Well, she's got this and she's actually just had beyer come on board. Now, beyer are a huge pharmaceutical company company and they've put their bopanthanum and their elephant something else in there as well.
Speaker 1:I think we will find out for sure but if you want to actually give her a follow on instagram and share the fuck out of it, because it's something that I think a lot of people don't know about. You don't like when you're packing a baby bag and stuff like that and again, I've got people in my life that have all had babies they pack the baby clothes, they pack the this, they pack the that, but then they don't pack something for them. And the happy cat box basically has, like your underwear on it, your pads. I'm not sure what's in it, but you can go and find out. And her instagram is happy cat, but cat spelt with a k-a-t. So h-a-p-p-y, k-a-t, dot a-u. So if you go and follow that, give her a follow, look it up, um, share it with your friends, um, it will be internationally, around the world eventually. Yeah, because it's freaking big.
Speaker 2:We're excited for her because she's waited a long time for this. She's put a lot of energy and money into it, yeah, so you know she just is excelling in what she's doing.
Speaker 1:Yeah as all our friends do?
Speaker 2:yeah, absolutely, but what I'm saying is I mean going forward. For her, this is a big, you know opportunity this is big we can only wish her all the best for it going forward yeah, and she'll achieve, because, oh, she will. But she knows how to grind and you know she held her ground when she did all the interviews, for it didn't she.
Speaker 1:So you know she's gonna be a bit of tv work as well, isn't she?
Speaker 2:because she's done tv work before, yes, has.
Speaker 1:She had some TVSN stuff happen before. But she's actually going back on to, but this is her product. So before she was actually a broker for a lot of companies and things like that, which she still does, yep, but this is going to be her baby, so it's really exciting for her and for us to see her excel.
Speaker 2:But the thing I want to mention here is when you sit down and talk to these beautiful women and they're all together, they have so much to give to other people and they do. But what I was trying to get them to do was to do a podcast themselves or, um, go and do like a you know a seminar where they could all sit together on a stage and ask questions or give their take on things, because, boy, they've been through a lot between them all. They have been through so much, yeah, but they all rally around each other.
Speaker 2:They all support each other so much but their wealth of knowledge on the subject matter that they've got is just so immense. It's so good I'd I'd love to host an event with them to me it'd be like watching sitting down and watching like um loose women or something like that, because they have got that ability to what's Loose Women. Okay, that sounds wrong, you've seen Loose Women on TV.
Speaker 1:the TV show no I can't say I have.
Speaker 2:Well, it's a TV show basically. I think Whoopi Goldberg in the American version is on it and a few other hosts, and they just talk about women's stuff or just stuff in general. I mean, it's a chit-chat show.
Speaker 2:These four, including cleo, would be phenomenal in terms of their, because they're super engaging and the thing is they can make you laugh, they can make you cry, they can make you have all the emotions in the world because they have got that natural ability between them all to just give and give and give. Yeah, and they can turn on the subject matter, whether it be sexual or whether it would be just deep heart thoughtfulness, I mean to make it all right? Yeah, I hope that we can convince them to do it. Well, we're going to get them on the podcast at some point anyway. Yeah, we will.
Speaker 1:Especially now that we're in the new house. So I picked up keys for the new place because my landlord was selling and I think I might have mentioned that, and I was a bit hesitant, a bit nervous, because I like stability, I'm very regimented and I like what I like and I need to have stability in my life, otherwise I get really anxious and then other people suffer, which is really bad because I don't want to be around people. Well, it's not just that.
Speaker 2:You've got the dogs as well. You have people walking around the house. And then the uncertainty of you being at work, because now you're working dogs as well. Yeah, I've got my puppies. You have people walking around the house. And then the uncertainty of you being at work, because now you're working weekends as well, which is a downside to the way things are at the moment.
Speaker 1:No, I'm actually happy with it.
Speaker 2:No, what I'm saying is in terms of you being there to have open homes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, to have open homes and stuff like that. It would have been stressful for you, yeah, so. So I picked up keys to the new place on Tuesday Last week, last week, and Dave basically gave the keys to Dave straight away, basically, and he started moving stuff over. So big thank you to him because he helped an absolute. Without him, I'd be broken. So we're actually in the new place now doing our first podcast and we're going to set this room up so that it is actually more user-friendly to have guests on as well. So we've got a couple of little red chairs Exciting times. We're going to put the mics out and have it all there so that anyone that comes over will go. All right, actually, while you're here, sit down and let's do a segment.
Speaker 2:We'll make it happen because in the past we've said it and nobody's done anything about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we keep saying, especially to a couple of our friends, which we'll chat about again soon, all right, and we keep saying to them we want you on, we want you on, like, the reason that this podcast is happening is bloody because of Jono, and we want Jono on this fucking podcast. We need it and we were chatting with him at Bron last night.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so, but. And they said when are we getting on this podcast? And I said fucking good question, how about we hurry up and just get it together and do it? But yeah, um, but. So tuesday we picked up the keys.
Speaker 2:No, tuesday tuesday sorry, moved in. It's almost going to be a week tomorrow since you picked the keys up and we're finally in, completely as in. We've emptied the house completely, apart from just cleaning it now, and there was only okay for outdoor plants.
Speaker 1:There was only really one and a half loads of outdoor plants. Yeah, but you're talking fucking big, big-ass pots, you're talking two trailers, if anyone wants to buy a plant, or any of my friends. When you come over, you're taking a plant home.
Speaker 2:Oh look, this garden's got nothing in it, so you've got plenty of space to play in your space. But yeah, um, but what? About the indoor plants, that was even worse shut up I'll tell you, I don't know how many trips I had to do in the ute to get your plants over here, but they look great. They look fantastic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's a good thing, miami came over miami and britney came over um at different stages throughout the move as well. So so thank you very much to both of those wonderful ladies because they definitely helped a lot as well. Like Mayim, you basically just said, because she's got actual ADHD. I've only got self-diagnosed ADHD, so I guess it kind of doesn't count really, but I know I definitely have it.
Speaker 1:Oh yes, but she's got proper, really actually diagnosed and so I was like she could actually organise it, because I know it's going to go exactly where my brain thinks it's going to go.
Speaker 2:This is how true it is. The minute we got to the new house, there's a big fuck off tree on the driveway, okay, and she saw it. And then she had to go back home to get her car to her husband and then come back, okay, but she said I'm going to fucking bit my fucking secateurs and I'm going to fucking chop that fucking tree down because it's fucking doing what it did already. Right and true to her word.
Speaker 1:She came back, she beat us back.
Speaker 2:We went back and then we met her back at the new property and there she was with the secateurs and the pruners and she was fucking up the tree but it looks good, though it looks amazing yeah my car's not going to get scratched at all like it's so good.
Speaker 1:She's done a great job I'm just really glad she didn't have a ladder, because that tree might be down by now she.
Speaker 2:Well, she filled your green bin up within fucking 10 minutes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, within, yeah she's a workhorse, but um but yeah, that's how adhd she is yeah. And sort of, when she started putting plants, she went the plants look good there. And I went Just go for it, just do whatever you Because.
Speaker 2:I know.
Speaker 1:I know her brain is going to function the same way mine does, yeah. So therefore I just went Just do it Right, because, yeah, not everyone I would let unpack my house, I mean in all fairness, the house is looking really good. It's looking really good yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean I've done a few things. I'm moving things around on Saturday for you.
Speaker 1:I'll let you bed together I did the other bedroom.
Speaker 2:So you've still got a few things to sort through, which is a good thing anyway, as well.
Speaker 1:So yeah, but lots of stuff there's, we got there. It's getting there, it's getting there. So congratulations, man, you need a new movie. Thank you. Thursday we had a book signing.
Speaker 2:Yes, thursday, see, this is how fucking busy we've been.
Speaker 1:That's why I take notes, because otherwise we wouldn't remember what we've done.
Speaker 2:Well, you wouldn't. My body remembers what I've done.
Speaker 1:I think I've got Alzheimer's as well, or Asperger's one of those, anyway.
Speaker 2:So we knew this book, so we've been following a guy called Rob Goddard. Yeah, you put me under him. I did so I've been following him for about two years. He lives in Brisbane, he's a Canadian guy and he's just literally published a book that he'd written about himself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's called Behind the Smile.
Speaker 2:But it's not just for him, it's actually for everyone, it is. So he's like a coach, he's a life coach, life coach here. So, um, long story short. Um, you know I've started following him, I've got matt onto him and you know he published things on social media, so I've got to know him from that side of things. What just with a few things he's put on social media? So I knew a bit about his background, his story with his parents you watched him on the amazing race as well.
Speaker 1:Well, I've seen bits of him on the amazing race, so he did that when he was younger in canada.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's also been a model, which I can understand, because he's fucking handsome he's so handsome he really is. At least he's a lot shorter than I thought he was which is really bizarre, because I thought he was gonna be about six like six foot tall he's about five foot eight, which is average size.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he is.
Speaker 2:But for me my interpretation of him was going to be a lot taller. Yeah, but oh my God, he just is such a handsome.
Speaker 1:But he's every bit a big man. Yeah, oh, absolutely, and that's what I said there. And when I looked at him I thought to myself and he's fit and stocky and sexy and just really engaging. So his book is called.
Speaker 2:Behind the Smile, behind the Smile. So definitely look it up. It's number one in the booksellers at the moment.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's getting some good pick up on it as well, and it's actually about the masks we wear as gay men, and I think he said there's about seven. Oh no, now okay 16. He said he had 16 or 17 masks, I think, or something like anyway. Okay, dave will read the book. Yeah, I'll wait till it comes out on audiobook, because I don't do the reading thing. I'm just, I just can't.
Speaker 2:I can't read, I just anyway, it's going to be fascinating anyway, because there's a lot of like, relative, like aspects of the book that correlate with everybody out there, not just gay people, but everybody, everyone, everyone wears masks, you know, and he doesn't. He doesn't target his audience to gay people he's everybody.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he is for everyone yeah, and he, the way he comes across, is just so engaging. He's just got that beautiful personality, that beautiful warmth about him. But he can get a message across to you and tell you everything's okay. Well, even though, like he said, he was hurting inside. He put on this fake smile to everybody because he was in disguise of his own.
Speaker 1:And this is where the whole concept came from yeah, kind of smile, and the thing is that I think every single person in that room felt warmth from him. Oh and he knows so many people, doesn't he? Yeah, but they all felt warmth from him, which is a skill, Because I know like I'm a very social person. But if I'm in a room full of people, not everyone's going to feel it, because you just don't have the ability and the time to spread it to everyone. So the poor bastard must have been exhausted afterwards.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, for sure. And this is only his second book launch, wasn't it Because he'd done one in Melbourne? Second or third, I don't know. No, he's doing one in Brisbane next.
Speaker 1:But, or third, I don't know. No, he's doing one in Brisbane next. Yeah, but yeah, but yeah, get hold of Rob Goddard's Behind the Smile or follow him on his socials as well. Everyone's socials are going to be blowing up this week. But, yeah, get him and get the book on eReader. You can get it, but you just can't get an audio book yet. He's going to start recording it soon. I said to him come on. I said I'm waiting.
Speaker 2:Um, we got ours off, was it heaven bright, event bright, event bright no, that was the page that organized the actual yeah, but didn't we buy it through them as well? No, I can't remember. Okay, anyway, we're fine. We're fine. Follow, find the links follow his links on.
Speaker 1:Go to his instagram rob goddard. Yeah, um really simple. G-o-d-d-a-r-d that's good for you to remember I know, all right, I'm pretty good like that and I hadn't even written that down. So there you go, it's only because I typed it into friggin audible so many times and Apple books so many times to see if it was there on audiobook yet and it's not. But yeah, so, yeah, so that was Thursday early evening, nine o'clock at night, didn't it?
Speaker 2:So we got there for about five had lunch, yeah had dinner, had dinner, I should say, and then we then went to the book signing, which is about a three-hour event, which is awesome, yep. And then we decided that we were going to go to church.
Speaker 1:Well, we thought about going to church right afterwards, because I don't work Fridays and we definitely planned on moving stuff on Friday. But we thought let's go to church. And then we looked because, I said to Dave, got a funny feeling it's a female night on Thursday and he went, oh. And so we looked on their website for Sydney Sauna and it was an all-gendered night, it said. So we thought, nah, we won't go. But then we sat there and we thought why not? Why not? Let's go and check it out because, worst case scenario, it'll be fodder for the podcast. Absolutely, oh boy, oh boy, was it? Um, so it wasn't what I would deem a successful night. Neither of us got to fucking finish our loads right, but we did get to finish somebody else's. Yeah, it's like this again. Another really tall guy. We've got a tall guy thing happening at the moment, don't we yeah?
Speaker 2:right, we got to blow him um and um there were some good looking guys there that were there but we couldn't tell whether they were gay straight by or anything, because it was just one of those nights where you didn't have a clue what the fuck was going on it was a bit confusing, to say the least.
Speaker 1:There was four natural women there, four women that were born women.
Speaker 2:Yeah, as in natural, natural women yeah, sorry, um, and then there was yeah, there's a few people in there that were obviously, obviously transitioning but there's, there was one Asian trans woman or trans-presenting woman and just a bad wig, basically Wasn't a great, couldn't look good, wasn't great.
Speaker 1:unfortunately and not saying unfortunately because I wouldn't be interested in it anyway, it's not what I am I had you with the intention of hopefully getting off with somebody like that. Yeah, dave tried to tell me. I told him that we're going to go there and he's going to get fucked by a woman with a dick, and he went no, you're going to do it. No, I'm not going to, because I don't like girls at all. You've at least been there before Lots of times.
Speaker 2:He wasn't a girl to start with, so yeah, but to start with, so yeah, those would be the same thing.
Speaker 1:So anyway, but let's not go down that path, because we'll end up saying words that we shouldn't say.
Speaker 2:I'm going to watch you.
Speaker 1:yeah, and I don't want to be cancelled. God knows we say enough other shit to be cancelled. But yeah, so we were there and we were wandering around and there was four women. There was two of them that were quite good-looking women. Yeah, in their 30s yeah, and your 30s sort of thing and stuff like that, and they were pretty fit and all that kind of stuff. And we went downstairs, went for a wander and we could hear this Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah ah.
Speaker 2:He does that so well, doesn't he?
Speaker 1:Ah, ah, ah. It was like real porn star getting banged because you do right. Why wouldn't you? You want to go and find out what's happening right? And one of the girls was in one of the rooms. I think both of the girls were in there.
Speaker 2:I think both of the girls were there, I think so I don't know.
Speaker 1:But I didn't look in because I didn't want to.
Speaker 1:I think there was two girls in the game and I couldn't, because there was a fucking queue a mile long out the door. Now I don't know whether they were lined up to fuck these girls or lined up to watch, or what they were lined up for right, but it was like, oh God, okay. And so we sort of stood back and just watched a little bit to think, well, maybe all these guys are going to be jerking off and we'll get to see some nice hot cock.
Speaker 2:Are they gay, are they straight? Are they bi it?
Speaker 1:was a very curious position to sort of be in. So we sort of stood back a little bit and watched to see what was happening and you couldn't see the women because they were inside the actual room.
Speaker 2:And then we gave up and walked off. And as we walked off, two other guys came around the corner and they what did they say?
Speaker 1:One guy went oh no, not for me. He said oh, fuck that. I'm not interested in that? Fuck that, not for me. And he's like done a like, literally a 360, and ran.
Speaker 2:And it was very funny. It was just like okay.
Speaker 1:So yeah, and I'm of the same mindset, so I get that. I'm just not into the vagina. Yeah, it's not, for me it's not. Yeah, some people like blue cheese, some people don't, but you know so we carried on our usual walking around A little escapade, and then because it wasn't sort of gravitating downstairs.
Speaker 2:we thought we'd come upstairs and we'd already done the steam room, we'd already done the sauna, and it was just boring.
Speaker 1:There wasn't much happening. Right, it was a Thursday night shopping.
Speaker 2:People were there, but it just wasn't engaging like it normally is. So we jumped in the spa because it was just like the most convenient thing to do Now.
Speaker 1:there was two other guys in the spa.
Speaker 2:Only one was in.
Speaker 1:And then another one got in, Okay, yeah, and he looked to paint a picture. He looked like that guy from Harry Potter, the Gandalf or the old wizard Dumbledore. Yeah, that's the one To me.
Speaker 2:He looked like someone that had come off the street Right.
Speaker 1:Or a homeless guy. Yeah, he looked like he had. He was a very, very, very thin, like emaciated type thing. Yeah, right, and probably about 75, probably. He had a big long beard, right, but he just unkept hair, unkept everything, yeah, and he wasn't an attractive man like, and bless him for being there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, I mean he could have just been going in there for a shower, you know yeah, but he was in this.
Speaker 1:He jumped into the spa while we're there, but there was also another person in the spa. There was another person, yeah and and I'm saying person for a reason you'll find out soon um, there was a person in the spa and they were male, presenting from where I could see, and me right, I was good, yeah, and it wasn't an attractive person at all. They were a male yeah they were a man, they're a man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're a male presenting yep, right, so they were. They were in the corner and you know, just on their own, just doing their own thing, yep.
Speaker 1:And now there was a big what in the spa? At the back of the spa there's a big TV right and they always play porn. Right Now on tonight, because it was an all-gender night, they were playing trans porn. So now me and Dave had a little tiff around this one. There was a man with a really big cock and then there was a younger guy, right.
Speaker 2:Who was?
Speaker 1:very handsome, yep. But then when they stripped down they had a vagina. Now I said this was a female to male trans, right, and that's got the original vagina that it was born with, right, but had had breast surgery because I could see the scar. But Dave for the life of him couldn't see where the scar was. But we're not going to get into that because we all know that I'm right, he's wrong anyway, uh, so, anyway. So, because I could see the vagina on the screen, I was looking away because I don't like them. I think we've established that already.
Speaker 2:Well, I was watching, he was watching, right anyway, this male that was sitting in the spa so matt's facing me, I'm facing the direction of the tv where the other guy was sitting, and so we're having a talk and matt's just talking in my ear as he does blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then, um, this guy got out of the pool at the spa to go and get a drink. So he got out the spa and just got out and and I turned and I said to him.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, mate, you should see the size of his cock, right? It's huge, right? So?
Speaker 1:again, this guy wasn't attractive to me in any way shape or form, right. But if somebody says you should see the size of his cock, guess what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna try and see the size of his cock, because I love cock.
Speaker 2:That I do love all right, I love it.
Speaker 1:All shapes, sizes, ages, not all ages.
Speaker 2:So we carried on talking and this guy went and got a drink and then he eventually came back. As he was getting back into the pool I said, matt, quick, quick, quick, have a look, have a look. So I've had a look. I might just stood there with his mouth open and go what the fuck what have you done?
Speaker 1:why did you make me look at that? So again, not meaning to cause any offence to anyone, but this person, I think again, was a female to male trans person, right? But no, no, no, it couldn't have been because the vagina was messy, right? Well, that's what I'm saying. No, no, any trans person and I've met, slash, spoken to a lot more trans people than you, right, and I can say that with fact Right, and any trans person is going to have a designer vagina and have one put on. They're going to have a nice little, neat, fucking tidy one packaged and they're going to keep it in good condition, right, this thing looked like a fucking broken possum, right, and it was hairy and it was manky and it looked fucking like somebody had fisted it fucking 17 times a day. It was not a good one right this point.
Speaker 2:Matt was grabbing all of my legs, oh my god.
Speaker 1:I said I'm going to fucking kill you. I said you are what that person has between their legs. I can't, but it was just not. I can't sit there and it look, and again, I I'm we don't mean to be offensive I'm an advocate for the trans community and an ally, definitely so please don't take it as an offense, because I'm like some president of the United States.
Speaker 1:I know that there definitely are trans people on this planet and I think they actually belong and I want to make sure that you know that I stand with you, stand for you and will always do that. But again, we all have our sexual preference and that's just not for me right, because anything that's vaginal is not for me right. But they made me have a look and it was just like on the proviso that there was a giant cock coming towards me, because I knew he wouldn't look if I told him.
Speaker 2:The disappointment level was fucking real, so, yes, I had this imaginary little fist in my hand going, yay, fist pumping, fist pumping. I got him to have a look, got him to have a look, and in the meantime Matt was just horrified.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it was not good but anyway. So we had a fun night there anyway we did Would recommend, if you're curious. Or if you're in that denomination of people that want to go and have. Yeah, if you're a female and you want to go and check it out, or even a transition in person.
Speaker 2:It's definitely a good night for them, I suppose, because it means that they don't feel like they're.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because there was a big, there was a representation of the trans community there, I mean in all honesty, there was a coverage of everybody there. Yeah, there was.
Speaker 2:There was definitely, but for us because we go there for gay men, yeah, or straight men that act gay, yes, or whatever.
Speaker 1:Straight men that have sex with men Anyway.
Speaker 2:Let's go with that, just men, anyway.
Speaker 1:Men that have sex with men, and generally men right, men right um. So no, not generally always for me, um, but yeah, so it's like. So that wasn't for us, unfortunately, um. Would we go there again? Who knows, who knows? Oh, no, it's miami this time. Oh, she's puppy spamming us.
Speaker 1:She's getting a new puppy on wednesday, a golden retriever, and he's so cute, they're gonna call it marshall they are gonna call it all right, yeah, well, marshall or rufus, but she doesn't want to call it Rufus because she knows that she'll shorten the name to Rufy, which is a date rape drug so she decides it's not appropriate. So Marshall will be probably what it's called in the end, and that's what her little boy wants to call it. So that's right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it'll happen, but yeah so we pretty much came up at that point. Yeah, we came up.
Speaker 1:We came home instead. So, yeah, that was pretty much Thursday, wasn't it? Thursday, was that? Yeah, friday night we went to.
Speaker 2:We did more because it was a public holiday. Well, it did not move. No, it wasn't public, it was day off. Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1:Yeah today's a public holiday and did more recording, more moving and all that kind of stuff. Then we went to the club as per usual on the Friday night, yeah. Then we met up with our regular friends that are at the club every week and that and did that kind of stuff. Then we also got chatting with another friend who is a friend of Mark Antony's and used to play basketball with him and all that kind of stuff. But this was last night.
Speaker 2:This was. This was last night we saw him. That was Sunday. Oh, so you're talking about Friday.
Speaker 1:Friday night went to club, but that's nothing unusual for us.
Speaker 2:Saturday Matt was working. I went and cleared some more stuff. Sunday I was working.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, saturday, saturday we went to the Pioneer with Miami and Brittany and their family and Justin yeah, because we'd been and Brittany and their family and Justin and their families. That was good. That was really nice, wasn't it? Yeah?
Speaker 2:the food was really good. Yeah, yeah, yeah it was really good.
Speaker 1:I had a lamb shank and it was really, really tasty.
Speaker 2:The schnitzels. It also helps when you get a good discount, isn't it?
Speaker 1:well, because I'm part of the alh group, um, the business I work for, um has is owning. I don't know what they do, but anyway I get 40 off food basically and then 20 off drinks, so it was a win-win. So it was a really good night. And um, and I tell you what, and it was bloody delicious like, and the schnitzels, the schnitzels that a couple of years had, like the 400 grand one I think they were all.
Speaker 2:There was probably about 12 different variations of that. Yeah, there was amazing yeah, I'm.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna have one of them next time because I'm just gonna have a small one. Yeah, obviously yeah, um gastric surgery is real.
Speaker 2:You still can't that's the only time I have something small um, yeah, it's got to give it to me big no, I can't handle a massive dick.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can?
Speaker 2:no, I've fucking seen you.
Speaker 1:Don't lie to me I cannot have a massive I've fucking, I've seen, I've tried, but then I can't do it. So, yeah, um, fuck you. Um, I'm a whore, but I'm not a loose whore. So so we did that, um, and then we yeah, we had there. We had a really nice night in Miami. Sorry, no, brittany and Justin came back with their child and had a look at the house and we were like blown away by how much we've actually achieved in literally a day.
Speaker 2:Well, we have done well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, even in that one day, because she was here the day before helping and then it was like literally one day. I don't know where she's gone. She's probably gone to the bed. Okay, probably had enough of us well behaved. Chanel's gone to the bed, um, but yeah, um, um, but yeah. So we did that, yeah, and then we continued moving um.
Speaker 2:Continue moving again. Continued moving until today, where we are today today where we are and then on.
Speaker 1:Sunday.
Speaker 2:Sunday, yeah, sunday, we went to the club. We went to the club, yeah, and that's when, this is when you met up with. Well, we met up with both people, didn't we?
Speaker 1:we met up with our normal friends Lynette and Russ. They go there all the time. I'm not going to mention names of the other people.
Speaker 2:Obviously, we're going to talk about Jon and bron, because they're the ones that inspire the podcast later on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but but then we did meet up with another guy as well, who's a friend of the girl well yeah, a friend of mark anthony and he's a basketball player, but also his raffle queen's um friend as well. Yeah, um, and he's very flirty.
Speaker 2:He's a lovely guy, he's a handsome guy. I want to blow him so bad. Oh yeah, fucking hell. He was coming on as in like either teasing us or he was just like having a fight, I don't know whether he's keen, I think he is keen. Well, we're fine.
Speaker 1:I think every man's keen.
Speaker 2:Oh, I do.
Speaker 1:Dave definitely thinks every man's keen. I do Dave knows every man's game.
Speaker 2:Well it's not just that. I think everybody in life, you know, has this bi curiosity in them. And I don't know. And I've always said that I think bisexuality is the biggest sexual denomination of all of the categories. Okay, yeah, I do believe that and where you are on the spectrum is where everyone's on, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Where we are on the scale yeah, exactly that's right.
Speaker 2:So wherever you are on that line and wherever you push your boundaries will be determining where you fit in like robin thick says blurred lines exactly right, and I love it when people express themselves to the point where they are open to it but they're not hiding behind it. If that makes sense, yeah, and it's fun and it's great, yeah but he was.
Speaker 1:He's a sexy fucker as well. He was standing next to me. I put my hand straight up his short and grabbed a bit of balls and I was like, oh, hello, I'm like, oh, how are they feeling?
Speaker 2:And he's like, how the fuck?
Speaker 1:did you get up there that quick? And I'm like man, I'm like a rat up a drainpipe. I don't know how I've had my hand around a few balls before I know exactly how he's here.
Speaker 2:He wasn't offended by it.
Speaker 1:No otherwise if I thought he would be offended by it. I don't just go and grab random guys in the dick. Oh, an update. And what we did do is I was having to slap on the pokies, right, and I hear this voice behind me saying hey buddy, you winning.
Speaker 1:And I turned around because I was and I would turn around and go yeah, I am. And then I looked over my shoulder and it was that guy from. If you listened to a previous episode, you heard how a guy said fucking poofeders to one of our friends, right, Well, it was him. And I went. Oh, I went, oh, no, no, no, you don't get to talk to me, mate. He went what what I said? Uh, really, I said you don't get to use that kind of language, fucking poofters. And then try and have a conversation with me. I didn't mean it like that. He said. I said well, I don't care how you meant it, you're not my friend, you don't know me, you definitely do not get to use that kind of language. And he tried to sort of whizzle out and say but I know gay people. And I went well, no, no, I don't care, you don't get to whittle out of it, get away, walk away from me now, before you regret it. And so he did walk away. So there's some resolution to that.
Speaker 2:So, um, stand up to your bullies and it was something that was really getting to your oh it was. It was grinding my gears because I needed to have a conversation he would, more he would, he would target you more than me anyway, in terms of like, want to talk want to talk to me I had already sort of like pushed him away in terms of didn't want to know him because I didn't like his vibe anyway.
Speaker 2:So for me it was like fuck off, I'm not interested in talking to you because you're a fucking weirdo.
Speaker 1:Dicko in there Dicko in there. So that wrapped that up as well.
Speaker 2:So that was really good, so it's been quite a win-win situation for everything hasn't it?
Speaker 1:And then Sunday night we got to chat with Bron and John for a long time, like literally towards the end of the night, when we were probably ready to go. But then I seen them, so I yelled out, and next minute, two hours later, we're still sitting around chatting. But it's fun, isn't it?
Speaker 2:and we were laughing and having so much fun and they are such good people they are fun. Beautiful people as well, amazing people but they have got so many questions that they want to answer and they're coming on.
Speaker 1:But be prepared, that's going to be a fucking four-part podcast, because I tell you what because john has got. No, but just because we also banter. So much and we just don't shut up.
Speaker 2:Well, I've still got this toe sucking competition with them as well which I know that Bron is not interested in or looks at me and sort of says no, no, but maybe. Look, I've just got to put them out of their misery and give them a toe job.
Speaker 1:So they can actually appreciate what a toe job is really like. It's horrible. I don't like them. My toes are curling now. As long as the feet are clean, it's fine. I love it. Yeah, I know you do. You're weirdo.
Speaker 2:But we're also going to be going to our local church, which is Arrows. Yeah, and we're going to scout out on Saturday night because they want to come along to an all-inclusive. Yeah, they want to have a look.
Speaker 1:Because we talk about church quite a lot on here. There's quite a few of our friends that are actually interested in going and seeing. Now. They don't necessarily want to partake in anything, but they want to experience what it's like firsthand. It's inclusiveness.
Speaker 2:Again, it's inclusiveness because it's out of their boundaries. We've been because we gravitate towards that. So I think but arrows is one of these ones that they only have one gay night, almost a sunday. All the other nights are geared up towards the heterosexual, trans, everybody else, all inclusive sort of thing. So you know, they cater for everybody, which is good in a lot of ways. You know um, but saturday night apparently is the night to go um, just because they cover a lot of aspects of, like, all denominations.
Speaker 2:They have a striptease show going on or a show so we'll probably we'll do a bit of recon first because we want to make sure that they're comfortable when they go there so we're not giving them false information. Yeah, because, like you said, we've only got information from what we know and what we know the premises so we know what it's like. But trying to describe to them what it's like is like really hard, because it's like you can't. Unless you go there and see it for yourself. Yeah, you won't understand what we're talking about, you know? Yeah, so we're going to do a bit of wrecking for them. Yeah, and once we know enough and we're comfortable taking them along, then we're going to go and take them along and go.
Speaker 2:We'll do a field trip and I think it'll be great. We'll do a field trip. We'll take the podcast stuff from the microphones with us.
Speaker 1:You're not allowed to record. Downstairs you can, downstairs you can.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're sitting down talking in the in the in the bar area you can do yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it depends on how low.
Speaker 2:No, but we can just do segments where we can just ask them what they what their first feelings are what do they think it is? You know, yeah, we can do that part, because the same is coming back here, because we're getting it as raw as it can be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, I like it raw. Play on water, I like it raw. But yeah, yeah, anything else.
Speaker 2:No, really, I think it's just been a busy week. I'm so tired, I'm fucked, I've got to go home because I haven with yeah yeah. So I've got to catch up with some renovation stuff.
Speaker 1:And I've got an early start tomorrow, so that's going to be fun.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I'm going to probably head off shortly.
Speaker 1:But yeah, all right, so that's been another big week for us. So thank you for listening and we love you and we appreciate you and I look forward to more happy podcasting from your new house we appreciate you and I look forward to more happy podcasting from your new house.
Speaker 1:Adventure from the new house. Yeah, All right, I'm Matt, I'm Dave, and love you all. Love you and see you later. Bye, that's a wrap from us. We've been your Fully Grown Homos and we look forward to opening your mind, your ears and your curiosities. Don't forget to like, comment and subscribe and share our podcast with your curious friends. You can contact us on Fully Grown Homos Podcast at gmailcom or any of our socials. Fully Grown Homos Podcast.
