Fully Grown Homos Podcast
Fully Grown Homos Podcast
Unplanned Discoveries and Delightful Diversions at Sea
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Welcome to Fully Grown Homos, a podcast about our adventures as fully grown homos navigating today's world full of inquisitive friends, questions about gay life and the unexplored activities of a life lived as fully grown homos.
Speaker 2:We'll discuss the gay 101s, sex sexuality and topics we don't even know yet, as we want your input into what you want to hear. Nothing is off limits, so email us on the Fully Grown Homos podcast at gmailcom or message any of our socials.
Speaker 1:Fully Grown Homos. With Dave and Matt On today's episode, we're going to finally wrap up our holiday. It feels like it's been months and months and months since we've actually been back on holidays, isn't it, dave?
Speaker 2:yep, and we did try doing one the other day about it. Um, and then we were out in the sun doing it on the uh, my phone overheated it did shout itself. So we didn't get anywhere with it we didn't get anywhere.
Speaker 1:We recorded. But then we thought, rather than trying copy and paste and do all that kind of stuff, we'll recap the whole thing again. So here we go again. This is part three of our holiday, also known as the sad ending.
Speaker 2:Well, it wasn't sad.
Speaker 1:No, it was sad to finish our holiday. Definitely it was a happy ending, always a happy ending, with us, that's for sure. That's for sure. So where were we, Dave? We?
Speaker 2:left off in Darwin. Yeah, so the next day of the Darwin.
Speaker 1:As a recap, we can say we loved Darwin, yeah, and we'll definitely go back there for sure, definitely going back there.
Speaker 2:So we're talking now the 26th of November. We're looking at the last five days of the holiday here. So we were cruising.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we all had a cruise day this was quite an entertaining day, this one was that, matt.
Speaker 2:This was quite an entertaining day couple of cruising days, so we.
Speaker 1:So we got up as per normal, had our brekkie, brushed our teeth, did our shit, and then went to another art auction. And we went to another art auction because we can, and we did and we loved it. Yeah, we had fun, yeah, and mike was the drawing attraction attraction there, yeah of course, mike and t Troy, and consequently we have tons of art sitting in my spare room currently because we enjoy the art auctions and we enjoy art and we enjoy shopping, which is also part of the fun, I guess.
Speaker 2:And we weren't the only people to buy artwork.
Speaker 1:Oh hell, no, there was lots of people.
Speaker 2:And, by the sounds of it, lots of other people we know that have been in cruises have also bought artwork. Lots of people.
Speaker 1:So the sounds of it, lots of other people we know that have been on cruises have also bought artwork. Lots of people.
Speaker 2:It's a very very lucrative thing on the ships.
Speaker 1:It's fun and it is a way to take memories home. It is, I like to think. A couple of friends of ours posted recently on Facebook saying oh, you finally know the cruise is over once you get your artwork delivered. And I think your comment on that was no. And I think your comment on that was no, because every time you look at that artwork you can remember the cruise.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and the memories that go with it. And it's true, yeah, 100%. And we said that to Troy when he bought the artwork. He said remember. It's not about buying the artwork itself, it's about having the memories attached to the artwork, Attached to the artwork. And people will comment on the artwork and it will bring you back to happy moments.
Speaker 1:I finally put a piece of art up in my room, but that wasn't off the cruise ship.
Speaker 2:It wasn't off the cruise ship, but we'll talk about that when we get to the latter stages, yeah.
Speaker 1:Anyway, yeah, so All right so we did art auction, we did a bit of laying around in the solarium.
Speaker 2:Now, the solarium itself is quite an entertaining area, isn't it? It's all adult, only Adult, only Not that there was very few kids, which is really fantastic for us children are horrible and trying. Trying. Holly had their children, but they were able to entertain themselves and they were great.
Speaker 2:They loved it, they had a cage for them they didn't have cages, it was called star treks or whatever it was. I know it's kids play area, whatever. Yeah, it was great. They loved it. Um so um. Yes, we went and lounged in thearium, which is basically the front end of the ship, and it's under a complete glass dome as such, so it's pretty cool, yeah, and it's more like a tropical island sort of thing, isn't?
Speaker 1:it. Yeah, it is. It's also got palm trees, all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:But it's well done, isn't it? It's a room.
Speaker 1:Stuff like that Again no toilets and Bugbear no toilets. And some hot guys no change rooms. Hot guys, oh yeah, definitely hot guys there, definitely hot guys there, stuff like that. And there was a couple of like oh, remember that one time you were there.
Speaker 2:Dave and I fell asleep when I was tired.
Speaker 1:When you were tired, you were having a nap, right. I was down in the pool and there was those other gay couple that were there Yep and Dave woke up to, basically because when Dave wears his boardies, what do you wear under your boardies?
Speaker 2:Dave, nothing, of course.
Speaker 1:Nothing Correct. Correct Like you're supposed to everyone. All right. No, if you're going to wear boardies, at least do the decency of wearing no underwear underneath.
Speaker 2:But what did you see the guys doing, dave? Well, I kind of woke up, or I was semi asleep, so, yeah, being the opposite semi, and um, yeah, I looked across and I had my glasses on and my hat and I could see them.
Speaker 2:They were looking over at me, but one had his camera in his hand as his like phone camera, yeah, and he was definitely taking photographs of me pointing and I didn't realize yeah, exactly because I didn't realize I had my leg bent up and then I realized that my whole nut sack and everything else was like my balls were all exposed, so obviously them being gay guys. Obviously got a thrill from it, and yeah yeah, they were loving it. They were loving it, so I didn't I didn't put my leg down anytime soon no, no, no.
Speaker 2:He said well, mate, you're gonna photograph it, I'm gonna give you angles, then I just sort of like turned my head and just like closed my eyes and thought, okay, let them imagine what they're imagining.
Speaker 1:Let them have what they want Exactly. Give the people what they need. And what were you doing in the pool, mate?
Speaker 2:I was.
Speaker 1:Chatting up, all the lesbians Chatting up. I love stories. I love different stories from different walks of life and things like that, and I was chatting to all different kinds of people in the spa area.
Speaker 2:I could hear you every now and then. I could hear you laughing.
Speaker 1:We'd all have chuckles and laugh. I could hear them laughing with you or at you, as everyone that's ever had a conversation with me right knows that I have a story for everything. So if you tell me that you went here and did this, I'm not going to know my name's specifics, otherwise I'm going to go on a tangent, but I will have a story to back it up undeniably. So I was having lots of chats with lots of people in different pools and spas and stuff like that. It was lots of fun.
Speaker 2:The.
Speaker 1:Solarium was a great place to chat with, and didn't? That's where the family and stuff was, wasn't it?
Speaker 2:Again, it was a great setup. The whole ship was a great setup in terms of, like, the facilities for families and pools.
Speaker 1:Well, the other pool, there was one guy up there that was. Basically he did follow the commandments of no underwear underneath his shorts and stuff like that, and he'd jump in the water and he'd jump out and look, he wasn't massively in power, but it hugs you, but it hugged, it hugged and I like a nice wet pair of boardies stuck to a nice around the whole VPL line and the cock line and stuff like that. You can see everything and I'm a very visual man, as most men are, but you don't point like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't actually stand there and point like Dave does. But yeah, dave goes, look over there and points straight at it and goes look snacks.
Speaker 2:Obvious, obvious, obvious.
Speaker 1:But yeah, it makes it super obvious.
Speaker 2:But yeah, anyway, so we're digressing again. So that was that part of the day. So that took us up to like evening time, evening time, afternoon evening, yeah. So went back, had a shower, got changed as usual, um, went down, had lunch. No dinner, dinner, dinner, yeah dinner yep um in our restaurant in the restaurant with the girls and then we headed upstairs to 270, which was the back end of the ship where the one of the theater partings which is a very, very big area, isn't it great?
Speaker 2:and it was really nice, and we discussed that on other other podcasts, um, and basically, yeah, so we met up with our friends that we'd met on the cruise ship. Yeah, gary, um john yeah, mike al um yeah, simon, and simon.
Speaker 1:Yeah, kim Al, all of them. Yeah, simon and Was Simon? Yeah, simon was there and Scott and Scott and Fi and Vince were there. No, I don't think they were there for the couples game.
Speaker 2:Were they not? Oh no, they weren't, they weren't sorry.
Speaker 1:And then, oh my God, karen, karen, that's her name.
Speaker 2:Yes, I wonder where you're going.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to think of a name. She's a super classy lady.
Speaker 2:Well, they're all classy people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, but she was like again, not unlike Fee. I would sort of wait to see what Karen was wearing, because, again, she's very glamorous.
Speaker 2:She's very glamorous.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like 24-7.
Speaker 2:So yeah, yeah, so we did a couples game.
Speaker 1:All right, dave. So the couples game we're not a couple, as everyone knows. However, karen, the lady from Bingo, this is Diffin Karen. Yes, she's one of the entertainment crew. Right, she actually come over because she couldn't get people to join in this game. Right, she needed three couples to get up on the stage and she couldn't get people. Now, she'd known me for a while by this stage at least a couple of days and knows that if we get to ask or not, even ask.
Speaker 2:Well, she knew we were gay as well.
Speaker 1:And I would jump up on this stage. Yeah, we'd had plenty of chats with her about the podcast and stuff like that as well. Well, she come over to our group and she said you guys get up, help me out and we go. Well, we're not a couple. She said it doesn't matter, just get up and have fun. So there was a couple that. So we ended up getting up and helping her out. So there were three couples, including ourselves. Three couples including ourselves, two plus us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so three in total right.
Speaker 1:So there was one couple that had been together for 47 years yeah, 47 years, yeah, for a long time, but he looked smoking hot. He was smoking hot, like you know, so, yeah, so he was quite nice, um, nice beard and very fit body and stuff like this. Um, they had us, and then you had a younger couple who'd been engaged for seven years, so they were in their late, late 20s, I'd say yeah, and then we'd found out later in their actual cruise that they were bisexual, um, and they loved us as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they loved us as well. Yeah, they loved us as well Because, yeah, I think he was not just bisexual but bisexual and fluid, happy to play with men and women. Yeah, that's what bisexual is. God, I'm a fucking idiot, I know. Just work that out, I'm a bit special at times, anyway. So when they come to the intros and stuff like that, they introduced us all.
Speaker 2:Yeah right, so they separated us. So the women, including myself, then had to sit on the front on chairs. Oh, hang on hang on.
Speaker 1:Let's go back when they come to the intros. They introduced the first couple. They said that they'd been together for 30 years. They introduced the next couple. They said they'd been engaged for seven years. And then they introduced us and karen said well, you guys aren't a couple. I said no, no, we're just friends. And then then I said friends with benefits and karen basically stopped there and she went to the audience and she said all right, I've known these guys for a few days now. She said anyone that gets easily offended please leave now. Um, as a bit of precursor, because, again, I get a bit loose at times with my mouth and everything else uh, yes, clothes come off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, clothes come off.
Speaker 2:Definitely things like that happen now you're used to being on the stage, it's slightly different for me. I mean, I, I'm a, I'm game for everything, but I wouldn't go up on my own, so going up with you was fine, yeah. Yeah, I knew I was safe and I knew I wasn't going to be on my own being up there. Yes, correct, so I was happy to do it.
Speaker 1:But yeah, so then the games commenced. So they split us up. The boys were at the back, hence me.
Speaker 2:No, we should have been the other way around.
Speaker 1:And the girls were at the front, which was Dave, Now the first thing they had us do.
Speaker 2:Dave, I'll let you explain. Yes, so basically, because that's what? So each couple took a turn. So it was the first couple, were the older couple what was the actual?
Speaker 2:yeah, I'm just going to explain so the first couple did that, did it first, then we did it and then the young couple. So the premise of the first game was basically the female sorry, the male member of the team had to kneel on a chair with their backside pointing upwards towards the female Yep, and basically they had to spread their legs apart. And then Karen, the host, would then place a toilet roll between their thighs or their buttocks area, yep, and told them to clench it hard, all right, in the meantime. Meantime, the girls, including myself, were then blindfolded individually, and then we had a pool cue placed between our legs and we had no idea where we were going. So what happened was the male person had a microphone, yeah, and he had to basically guide the female with their pool cue into his butt cheeks, using the pool cue to insert it into the hole of the toilet roll.
Speaker 2:Yeah, correct. So that was the premise of it. So the first couple did it all fun. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Two minutes 27 seconds, two and a half minutes yeah, something like that.
Speaker 2:So they had fun. The crowd were loving it cheering away. It's a lot harder than it looks.
Speaker 1:Well, what's it?
Speaker 2:though I don't think it was, it could be for most people because, as we found out, we were professionals, we were experts. So my turn came. So Matt got on the chair, basically Bent over on this chair, and then Karen went to place the toilet roll between his legs and he turned around and said to her he goes, I don't think I need that.
Speaker 2:I said I don't need that. We've done this before Many times. I wish she laughed. She laughed, and then the audience in stitches at this stage, and then they blindfolded me and then I got my poor cue and then matt just said come forward, come forward, come forward. So I just ran as fast as I could, and within 12 seconds it was inserted into the hole and then karen goes wow, that was fast. And what did you say?
Speaker 1:and I turn around and said he's not usually finished that quick. Um, so again we got.
Speaker 2:We got a few laughs, um, no needless to say, for that one and then it was the turn of the younger couple, and again they have fun.
Speaker 1:They did a good job and they did about one minute 25, not as quick as us, but so yeah, so we were the victors of that first round, which is fun, so it was.
Speaker 2:The second round. Was what matt?
Speaker 1:we. So dave, had to stand in front facing the audience and he had a balloon pump. No, we had the balls. Oh, the balls. Sorry, yes, sorry, the balls. So we had these balls and we had to place them.
Speaker 2:They were like a squishy, stress ball right.
Speaker 1:So it wasn't a big ball right, it was just like a tennis ball-sized ball right and we had to place them on our chest.
Speaker 2:And roll them up to our neckline.
Speaker 1:No, we had to place them on our belly sorry. And then roll them up to our neckline without using your hands at all, and then put them in between your necks, basically, and stuff like that, and then move them. So we started doing this and we were the first couple to do this with me. Yeah, for the life of me, we just couldn't get it.
Speaker 2:So what I did is I threw dave on the floor, literally all right.
Speaker 1:And then I placed, place the ball on my stomach and then I roll. I laid on top of him, rolled it up there with a groin in my neckline my crotch ended up right in his face again, not an unfit.
Speaker 2:And then you twisted around and then got it into my neck and then basically, we then had to try and stand up, and of course, do you think we could fucking try and stand up? The audience were fucking, we were laughing at this stage as well. The audience were killing themselves, laughing they were killing themselves laughing.
Speaker 1:Every time we'd go to get up, the ball would drop out, so we'd have to start again. We eventually got up with this in some house situation.
Speaker 2:Needless to say, we definitely did not win that round at all the older couple took a while as well, but they did it eventually. They had the same problem kept them bouncing out from there as well, kept bouncing out and all that kind of stuff. And then the younger couple well, they were just like they smashed it.
Speaker 1:They smashed that one. That was really. They did that one really in record time. It was quite fun. But I did that one really in record time, it was quite fun, but yeah. And then part three was the balloon, was the balloon. So Dave had to actually stand there with a balloon pump like a manual balloon pump in between his legs.
Speaker 2:Which was not easy at all, because you're trying to hold something that is like going to be, yeah, plastic between your knees, yeah, and someone is then in front of you, as Matt would have been.
Speaker 1:Well, I then had to place a balloon on the tip and, one-handed, I had to basically pump the balloon up until it burst, almost like it was wanking me off.
Speaker 2:It looked like.
Speaker 1:I was jerking him off fundamentally and again not a position I'm unfamiliar with right.
Speaker 2:And we thought we'd smash it in because we were the second team to go on that one, the young couple went first and they did three. They did three balloons and they we thought, oh, I thought I'm gonna get this easy right holy fuck, my wrist was so my knees were killing me.
Speaker 1:Those knees were killing you. Yeah, I was there on my and I'm sitting there going. This is actually like I'd blown them up and so, just when they got to the part where they were about to burst, they'd fly off the end of the balloon thing and go away. Um so I think we might get two I think we got two um, so again we lost there, and then the older couple did it right?
Speaker 2:yeah, they did well, they got one one. No, they did two as well.
Speaker 1:So yeah, yeah so it was um, it was a challenge, needless to say that one and then the last one was where you had I had to sit.
Speaker 2:Well, the girls had to sit on the chair, and then they had to have a stripper, ie the guys. A lap dance. The guys had to give him a lap dance. Well, the old guy did it first and he was very very he was good A bit reserved.
Speaker 1:Yeah, a bit reserved.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he was definitely. He was trying his best and it was just hard because his wife wasn't really sort of like as engaged, she wasn't into it as such.
Speaker 1:I think if he had another guy, on there.
Speaker 2:It was an awkward moment for them, wasn't it?
Speaker 1:They weren't natural at doing that, it was like oh fuck, we haven't fucked for like 10 years, 20 years, 30 years, but sure I'll give you a lap dance. It was quite fun.
Speaker 2:It was very basic and monotone, wasn't it, but it was fun, it was fun still nonetheless. Then it was a couple, the young couple. Then they had fun, didn't they?
Speaker 1:He did really, really well. And then there was us, and again, of course, my shirt came off um I was grinding all over day.
Speaker 2:It's lovely.
Speaker 1:I just think now I don't, I can't even remember I'd, yeah, have to watch for the playback, and I hope there's none I know there is some out there somewhere but yeah, it was naughty and fun and we did all right on that one as well, but we didn't end up winning overall. But we all got the same prize. We all won. We basically all got a squishy ball and a hat each, which is okay.
Speaker 2:It was fun, but entertaining I mean we had a, a squishy ball and a hat each, which is okay. It was fun, but entertaining I mean we had a lot of people come up after us and said, oh God, you guys were so fun yeah we had heaps of fun, we enjoyed it a lot, and then we went back to the gay bar, obviously, because that's what we did every night. That's what we did every night.
Speaker 1:And that was pretty much that day which was fun with friends and chatted until the wee hours of the morning again, no doubt finished off our night with pizza, because that's what we did when we were on holidays.
Speaker 2:So we had another cruising day the next day.
Speaker 1:Yep another cruising day.
Speaker 2:We're moving forward now at pace, if we can, yep. So this was Wednesday, the 27th of November, and it was just an average sea day, really, wasn't it? Yeah? There was nothing really major planned on that day was there in day, really, wasn't it?
Speaker 1:you know, there was nothing really major planned on that day, was it in terms of entertainment?
Speaker 2:we probably went and did art seminars. Well, we did the art seminars. We had a picasso seminar that day, because I wrote it down, because it was very entertaining. Mike again, the um, the auctioneer. He was spectacular, um, good on the eye but very, very good on his knowledge of artwork. But he was just he's. He has adhd, which he admits and admits and he flourishes with it because it suits his personality and his type of work. Basically, he can entertain people for hours and you wouldn't get bored.
Speaker 1:Well, he's very detailed and he knows his shit.
Speaker 2:But he engages so quickly, but he's so quick-witted as well. He's so quick-witted, yeah, he's clever, yeah, so him and his staff, which are also very good as well. There was Sean Patrick and what's his name, the other guy, the guy that was helping. We did know him.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can't remember. He'll come back to us anyway, He'll come back eventually.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so they were great guys. They all knew their work as well. But Mike, you know top man Super star. Yeah, great, but I was impressed because I hadn't really known much about picasso in detail.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and even though it was only like an hour seminar, but the detail and his pronunciation of the names and everything was absolutely spot on.
Speaker 2:He was. He was a phenomenal one and he did roll them off correct and he's south african, so he's got a slight accent anyway, but yeah yeah, yeah, and we love that.
Speaker 2:That was awesome, um, but mike, you know you're great and I hope you do listen to our podcast and we loved that. That was awesome. It's hot, yeah, um, but, mike, you know you're great and I hope you do listen to our podcasts and we we look forward to catching up with you guys again on another cruise ship at some point. Yeah, sure, and if you aren't, if you have never bought anything from park west and you are luckily to have mike as your auctioneer, then definitely engage with him because he is spectacular. Yeah, he's great, he's awesome. Okay, so that was that morning, and then we went to bingo in the afternoon.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we did bingo because we did. No, it was fun. That's all right. It was fun, had a good chat, yeah yeah, and her stuff yep yeah, and then we then good reason to go to bingo.
Speaker 2:yeah, um, but Got his nipples pierced Without digressing, because we're trying to summarise this Summarise, this right. So we then caught up with friends again after dinner, as normal in the gay bar?
Speaker 1:Yeah, in the gay bar.
Speaker 2:And then we then went to the main theatre to watch.
Speaker 1:For those that haven't heard previous episodes it's not an actual gay bar 10 to 11 every night. Yeah Well, we made it a gay bar from 10 to 11 every night.
Speaker 2:Well, it was just easier to tell people which bar we were going to yeah, we just said the gay bar. Everyone knew it was a gay bar, so yeah, yeah, so we then went to the main theatre to watch the Diamonds and Feathers show. Again, it was nice, it was mainstream, wasn't it? It was fun.
Speaker 1:Was it one of the best shows I've ever seen on a ship? No, was it one of the worst? No, look, my standard's pretty high now, but again it was difficult.
Speaker 2:I mean, I found on this particular ship, matt, the main theatre was quite small. Yeah, it was Compared to the size of the ship. Going on a smaller ship and having a big theatre was definitely different, yeah, and I felt that being up in the higher end, you didn't really get to see the vantage points very well, especially on the edges of it. You didn't get that sort of natural sort of thing, whereas on the smaller ships you seem to get a good vantage point wherever you're sat in the auditorium. Shall I say.
Speaker 1:Yeah, look, it was entertaining, it was fun, it was what it was supposed to be for a cruise ship, and we did see a few good shows.
Speaker 2:We saw that one with the harp, which I can't remember. That was really good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he was really good. He was very, very good.
Speaker 2:The harpist was phenomenal and obviously we saw the magician and we saw a few other ones. I don't know if we've mentioned them in previous ones because I can't remember what we talked about.
Speaker 1:But we did pretty much all the shows pretty much. So, yeah, the only show that I didn't rate, which was led, which was the top of the bill, wasn't it? It was supposed to be this top-billing show. It's called Starwater Starwater and it's not on anymore because they had issues with the staging and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it took pretty much three-quarters of the actual holiday. Sorry, that was my watch going off. I thought my watch going off that's all right, that's okay. That's okay, let's go past it, it's all right. So.
Speaker 1:Starwater was. I enjoyed it, you enjoyed it, but I thought it had zero storyline. Yeah, but again it was a cruise ship. My expectation again, because I've done theatre, I've done all that.
Speaker 2:The singers were fantastic.
Speaker 1:They sang brilliantly. They danced phenomenally great. Yeah, they sang fantastic. They danced amazing. Um look, there's no denying that they're very good at their craft. Yeah, I just didn't think the storyline. I couldn't make out what the storyline was. It was a bit disjointed but it was weird. But it was okay, it was still fun and it was like and I had a couple of naps, but that's okay, that's what I do anyway.
Speaker 2:So that was pretty much that night days so our next port day was cans.
Speaker 1:I was looking forward to cans because, um, I like sunshine, I like water, I like all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:So this is literally three days before we were due to finish or four days, yeah, a few days in um so cans the the first bit was yeah, it was a nightmare, and tender was a nightmare to get off, and this was common throughout the ship. Everybody complained about the….
Speaker 1:We got on one of the fast ferries on the way over, which was actually really beneficial. That was about 11 o'clock. We got off. Yeah, we got off at 11 o'clock or something, because it did take a while to get off the boat, off the ship, but then the bus ride into town was like 40 minutes or something like that I think, and it took forever to get to somewhere that was not even open.
Speaker 2:And you're talking. Cairns is quite a big area. It was a Thursday. It wasn't like it was a Sunday or something like that, so lots of backpackers go there, a lot of tourists go there, because Cairns itself is a very beautiful area. It's on the sort of like northern side of the east coast of Queensland.
Speaker 1:So I had potential.
Speaker 2:There were three cruise ships in that day as well, so you're talking 10,000 people, 10,000 people Plus maybe more, but there was lucky to be half a dozen shops open in the whole thing.
Speaker 1:Half a dozen shops are open in the whole thing, and again, we weren't there at 7 o'clock in the morning. This was like about lunchtime 1 o'clock by the time we got in there, and stuff like that. So it was just like it was just missed opportunities.
Speaker 2:Limited stores open, limited anything, and they dropped us off by the coast. We had quite a bit of a walk to get into the town.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's easy, I don't mind. Yeah, but what I'm?
Speaker 2:saying where they dropped us off. There was no natural sort of like direction. It was quite a distance from most people, so people were looking which direction we go. They gave us a map each to follow, which is fine, yeah. But it sort of took you around the coastline and thenmade pool, which is really good, yeah, which is beautiful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was fun Because you can't swim in a lot of the oceans there and stuff like that. A bit of perving there, yeah, a little bit.
Speaker 2:We had Bert and Ernie with us that day, didn't we?
Speaker 1:Yeah, we did, so they came out with us, they came out with us, took lots of videos with them, find one gym and we did bump into a few of our crew members.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we bumped into a few through gary and um yep john and john and kim and that, and then we then fee and vince quarters on camera, didn't they carry?
Speaker 1:yeah, we walked past them in the pub but they messaged us and sent us, sent a photo of us, like, but we talked, remember, we talked to that person.
Speaker 2:On the way back we talked to that person. I know we digress a little bit, but that couple we thought were on a cruise ship and they weren't, but they were having such an engaging conversation.
Speaker 1:People just started talking.
Speaker 2:And because we had Bert and Ernie with us again, it was like a magnet.
Speaker 1:A conversation starter? Yeah, for sure. So people were lovely. It's just that I don't think the town itself took advantage of the fact that there was 10,000 people.
Speaker 2:But there was one shop that we did find, which is really good.
Speaker 1:It was awesome and we did take a card, but I don't know where I put any of those cards from.
Speaker 2:They'll be here, somewhere they will be, so there'll be somewhere we'll put them up on our podcast when we come to a summary listing, we'll put down the places you and you know and, yeah, places to go and check out yeah, but this shop had a lot of the cu in the nt, which is a unofficial tourism campaign because Northern Territory wouldn't do it.
Speaker 1:but I tell you what it's done more for Northern Territory tourism than any of their official campaigns.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they had this pink CUNNT hat in their window, which I saw and I said, matt, you've got to have this.
Speaker 1:So, dave, seen it and went Matt, you've got to have this. And I went, oh, and so I stopped there and pulled it off the top of the mannequin thing, put it on my head and it didn't fit properly, unfortunately, Right.
Speaker 2:Well, it did fit, but you've got funny ears. You've got funny ears, so these sort of hats don't fit over your ears. Certain trucker caps don't fit me and certain ones fit me perfectly, but yes, I do have, so the owner was sitting out the front, so she was sitting out the front having a ciggy with a friend talking, a friend having a year a yarn right and she's got.
Speaker 1:If you need anything, let me know yeah, yeah, we'll catch up, oh cool, we're just having a look around, so she's got, she said. And she said she said, look, different ones are different fits, she said, so just try a couple of different ones on there.
Speaker 2:Well, that's when you, just when you came back in and we were trying them on, then you asked it. That's when that happened.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so then she, um she basically said look, there's start telling us about this shop and how the different, different artists basically her language was very different. Her language was fucking phenomenal. So this woman dropped cunt and fuck like they were salt and pepper on chips.
Speaker 2:But they weren't offensive, they weren't derogatory.
Speaker 1:The way she spoke. It was part of her vocabulary and it worked fantastically, it worked. Like we were at the counter talking with her at one stage.
Speaker 1:And we were talking with her at one stage and she turned around and she just looked on the ground. Chanel's picked up Dave's hat and brought it in for him. That's from downstairs, no, that's from the bedroom. So this woman's dropped cunt and fuck into her vocabulary so well that we were standing at the counter talking and some other woman's walking and she's going oh, I'm just serving these cunts and I'll be right with you, love. And I was just like okay, she's quite classy. The woman that walked in was she was somebody you would look at and visualize as a classy lady. Um, that didn't say those words, um, but she was like okay, and it's just like, because the way this woman said it so nonchalantly, it was just you know.
Speaker 1:So nobody could be offended by what she said or how she said it at all, and it was just fun, so it was fun.
Speaker 2:But the shop itself. But she was also back in.
Speaker 1:That's what I was just about to say. The shop itself. A lot of the stuff that she had in there, or I'd say most of it, was all australian made. Right, it was all local artists, right? Um, there's people's shirts. I bought a stubby holder for my sister in there, um, because it had lezzo on it, um, or it had lego, but it was made to look like lezzo. Um, but it was all these local artists that have been produced locally, whether it be in Sydney or in Australia somewhere, and she bought it, basically, into her store and she sold it. Now, her stubby holders and that weren't cheap, right? However, they were made locally and the money went back to the local artists and stuff and the quality was fantastic.
Speaker 1:We found a book in there that I bought for my great-niece and it was cool. It had these little interactive QR codes. I think it was called Alice or something like that.
Speaker 2:I can't remember what it was.
Speaker 1:It was a turtle, it was about a turtle, and all the money raised from this book basically went to the turtle rescue foundations and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:So the book was actually narrated by a guy that was from Denmark or that sort of part of the IP room. And he moved over here with his family. He fell in love with the turtles and then sold everything up to come over here and set up a hospital.
Speaker 2:A non-profit, basically A hospital sort of thing for wildlife and turtles in particular, and he then set about writing the book about this particular turtle, about his daughter sorry, her interaction with the turtles, yeah, and everything that was in the book. All the illustrations, were actually taken from real-life stories.
Speaker 1:Real-life photos and stories. Yeah, so if you read a page that had a QR code on it, you could scan that QR code and it would take you to the actual photo or video or video that that story was about. So there was one that we watched where the baby was giving mother was birthing all these turtle eggs and things like that. Um, it was, it was brilliant and it was really good and there's a follow-up book which we didn't buy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, uh, but you can, I mean we'll try and find the name of the book and we'll put it on our post so you can actually have a look. It's well worth the money, it's very engaging and it's just really clever.
Speaker 1:Yeah and it was.
Speaker 2:It was awesome, fun, it was awesome fun, so um so yeah, so that was pretty much that was pretty much.
Speaker 2:Cairns now? Would I rate it? No, I've been to Cairns before and did I rate it then? Not really. I mean, I think if you're going to stay there for a few days and go up and look at the Whitsundays, and not we're out to go on the Barrier Reef and go to the Daintree area, you'd have a lot more fun because there's a lot to do there. Yeah, but for a day excursion, not a lot.
Speaker 1:I just would have liked to have seen all the shops open.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it would have been a different vibe. We did call into one of the art galleries, didn't we, yeah, we did, we talked to a local and he was an ex-nurse, which is good.
Speaker 1:He was very creative wasn't he?
Speaker 2:and stuff like that. Yeah, very cool, but again in terms of what we saw.
Speaker 1:It wasn't a ride-off, it wasn't a lombok but, it wasn't amazing by any means.
Speaker 2:So then our next stop was and we didn't do much of that, I think we got back on the ship and there wasn't again, I mean, a lot to do that night when we saw the harp show. I can't remember. Um, yeah, we just a basic evening again on the ship, so we're not going to digress too much.
Speaker 1:But the very next day we went to early beach. Now that was lovely. On on the flip side it was again. It was the tenders.
Speaker 2:No, yep, was it 10?
Speaker 1:yes, it was, but it happened very quickly but it was quick and the bus ride in was 15 minutes, yep, and the drop was basically smack bang in the middle of the center and that was lovely.
Speaker 2:Airlie Beach is part of the Whitsunday Islands. Okay, so beautiful, absolutely beautiful. Again, if you're going to go on holiday there, you need to spend about five days there so you can go and snorkel on the Barrier Reef. Yeah, but it's a relaxing holiday.
Speaker 1:It is a very chilled holiday. It's not a go-getter do A lot of backpackers that go there to work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the hospitality is phenomenal over there Young people working hard doing their job, which is great. But you feel like you're on a tropical island paradise, sort of like these mangrove mount. It was like mangrove, um, like areas of the actual beach. Yeah, yeah which was slightly different, but again, but the views were spectacular, views are beautiful um. They did the moat, they put a local market on for us, which, again, which was very, very cool pineapple shirts yeah, and we got his web page. We got that yeah, that was pretty good.
Speaker 1:Again, he was a local guy as he turned out to be a gay guy because he contacted Matt straight away on Grindr.
Speaker 1:He picked me up on Grindr yep, which is pretty cool, so that was fun. Airlie Beach, again lovely. As opposed to Cairns. They knew that they were getting ships in, so they took all our money, which was great. They opened shops, they opened bars, the pub there was really cool. You hub, there was really cool. You look straight out across to the water. It was lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely. We'd definitely go back to ellie beach then. We the night was fun, was that?
Speaker 2:the quest the quest. Okay, so that was the night we did so we got back on board around about the downside to oh sorry, going back to cairns, and then we just gone back on. Cairns on the way back was a nightmare for people. Getting back, yeah, whatever, we thought the tender was about going back, but tenders coming back was even worse.
Speaker 1:So that was a bitch fest on the on the cruise ship that day obviously yeah, and people didn't get off at Airlie Beach because they'd had such a shit time on the tenders, but they missed out on on um, on Cairns but they did, they should they shit, they got, they got their shit sorted.
Speaker 2:They did, they didn't they, they did, and it was all good.
Speaker 1:So yeah, but so we got back on board and we went and did dinner and all that kind of stuff. But then they had this thing called the Quest. Now, because we were part of the Facebook group, we'd seen that David's saying that sometimes even nudity happens in this thing. So obviously we were going to be part of that. So we got the whole crew together for the Quest. Obviously we were going to be part of that. So we got the whole crew together for the quest. So we're talking, all the friends we had, all the friends we'd made on board, so there, was probably about 15 of us all together wasn't there?
Speaker 1:Yeah, probably it was a big crew.
Speaker 2:But Gary and not Gary, I think. Gary and John and Kim had done this before, and John and John had done this before, so they knew what to expect, but they didn't, if that makes sense, because every quest is different.
Speaker 1:They're slightly different, but Kim had gone back to the room and bought a spare bra and a few things in her little handbag. That she remembered from the last time that she remembered from the last time, so that came in very beneficial.
Speaker 2:So basically, the host this time was the main director for Thiago no the female, the lady with glasses, the one that did the oh yeah, katie, katie.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and she was good at hosting it. She was very good, she was okay at hosting it.
Speaker 2:I thought she was she was entertaining. Yeah, I didn't rate her because I didn't think she was very skilled in anything else the way the Quest game show happened is everybody in the audience was part of the actual show. Yes, so one time.
Speaker 1:They asked three captains, two team captains, a male and a female, for each little section. So they broke the section up into four sections.
Speaker 2:The auditorium up into four sections Because it was a curved section, half semicircle, yeah.
Speaker 1:So they broke it up into four sections.
Speaker 2:So again, naturally I got volunteered and we had the worst area because it was the hardest to get.
Speaker 1:It was the hardest to get to, but that's all right. Um, we had um, I volunteered, slash got volunteered to be their captain which, again, I'm not in it, I don't have an issue with and I had a lady that was sitting behind us.
Speaker 2:She volunteered to be yeah, so there's other members of the audience in our team that weren't part of our group. There was other people there, so it wasn't just us, it wasn't just us, so it's probably about 40 people in each section one. They maybe made more than that, more, maybe more. Yeah, it's pretty packed the quest, right yeah?
Speaker 1:but then you got given different tasks to do. Now we're going to go not going to go one by one through each task, because that'll take us all freaking day, and we were currently up to about 36 minutes. So, um, we want to kind of wrap this up in some kind of time frame so we can get back to our normal reviews of saunas and stuff like that. Anyway, your digressions are stopped. Yeah, oh, come on. So what we did in this quest, so they'd ask for things like they'd say all right, we want three bras all strung together, right? So you'd have to run up to the audience right or to your section of the audience and get these three bras, bring them back and present them to katie, the um cruise director there was one member of our team, coffee, who is absolutely beautiful in every way sensational lady and she she ripped that bra off.
Speaker 2:You know what? She came out of her comfort zone and she told us. I said you boys were now would never done. I would never have done any of this and I felt a little bit guilty because I didn't want to coerce her into doing things that she would do. But do you know what? She went along and she did it and she had fun.
Speaker 1:She had a hoot with it, so she stepped right out of her comfort zone. She was definitely my MVP because she gave up so much stuff.
Speaker 2:She gave up earrings, but she had no bra on, remember at that point. Yeah, so she'd already taken her bra off and she realised, and she was the only female willing to give up her dress after nobody would volunteer, one of the ones we had to do.
Speaker 1:We had to change. Men had to change into women's clothes and women had to change into men's clothes on the stage, basically. So I've got my shirt and trying to stick it over her head while she's pulled her dress down.
Speaker 2:And you managed to do it without exposing anything. She was like, yeah, we did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we kept it modest-ish.
Speaker 2:As you could do for that sort of show.
Speaker 1:But it was fun we had to. Then we went through different things. Like I said, there was a bra, there was a man and a woman in one pair of pants.
Speaker 2:I took my trousers off. For you to have two trousers on, didn't you? Yep?
Speaker 1:And then I went up on the stage with you to do. They wanted the tallest guy in your crew and the shortest guy. So I wasn't the shortest, you wasn't the shortest, but dave thought outside the square and went up. There there was, it's got the tallest guy. And dave went up there and went on his knees again not an unfamiliar position for dave, um. But everyone was pissed off laughing and she said I'll take that because you don't know what's coming right. So then they had to turn the tents. Well, this guy was tall and he was gyrating his balls, basically.
Speaker 2:Right in my face. I had no choice because they were there. And then he bent over and he was slapping my ass and everything.
Speaker 1:It was funny as fuck. I loved it and he didn't even realize what he was doing until he'd seen it back on the video that his wife had recorded. And I went oh yeah, you like it though, didn't you, buddy? And he's got no, no, no, I'm straight. I'm like yeah, yeah, whatever. I'll never end straight until a couple of beers, but it was fun. But it was fun. And then they called for the final round, like we did a couple of bonus rounds where we had dance-offs and stuff like that, which was fun.
Speaker 2:You mentioned you've got about Gary's teeth as well.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, they asked for false teeth, right? So one of our friends, not mentioning any names, pulled his teeth out. So I've got up and I've grabbed him in my hand and she's gone. Oh, like, I've gone running up to Katie with him and she's gone. You don't know where they've been. I said you don't know where my hand's been. So we got that point and at the end they wanted us to get a man and they wanted him to dress him up in the prettiest way possible. So we got Vince, one of our awesome friends, for his husband and we prettied up his beard. We put little butterfly clips in it, we put lipstick on.
Speaker 2:We gave him. He's got like a. He's got like a true zz top like, yeah, he's got the most, but he is so fun with it, yeah, yeah he's great, yeah, he's.
Speaker 1:He's an amazing human as well. Yeah, um, and how's all?
Speaker 2:the friends.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, obviously, but um, we're not friends with assholes no, not at all no not ever um and um.
Speaker 1:so we dressed him up. We basically hiked up his shorts, we tied up his top into a little tube top, sort of the little knot, like you did in the 80s, and stuff. Um, he put a pair of like heels on and then he had a handbag with another hair heels they were like the flats he was wearing and then the heels he was wearing home from the club. But then they actually asked them what your name is, what your female name is and what your profession was. So we gave him the name I'm just trying to think it was Vagine Spreadalot. Yes, we gave him Vagine Spreadalot, which was like a vagina spread-a-lot, and that was quite a hit. And then he wanted his profession to be stripper or something like that. I said the milk.
Speaker 2:I said the what was it like? I can't remember. I think it was a butter flapper, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know what it was, but he ended up saying he was an exotic dancer or something. I can't remember. But yeah, it was a lot of fun. We didn't win the quest because the guy that got picked for the other one he really camped it up and he got them to win, that's for sure. But it was a hell of a fun, fun night and everyone that didn't know us prior to that definitely knew us after that.
Speaker 2:But it was just fun that everybody took part regardless and we were watching the other team members doing it and we were watching them as well, having fun as well, and there was lots of conversation afterwards.
Speaker 1:There was no nudity.
Speaker 2:Unfortunately.
Speaker 1:Well, there was almost nudity.
Speaker 2:Well, there was a few women that showed their nipples because she wanted piercings, Piercings yeah, correct, correct, and then yeah, yes, so, yeah.
Speaker 1:So that was a fun night at the quest and that was pretty much the last. Yeah, we just had a cruising day after that. Yeah, and again not much else happened because we were packing.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, cruising day was, we had that, we were playing bingo on that day. And then we had the helicopter, as I remember, because there was a….
Speaker 1:Yeah, somebody got winched because there was a medical episode On that night.
Speaker 2:yeah, we remember down at the pizza place and we heard they go off about two o'clock.
Speaker 1:no one o'clock in the morning wasn't it One o'clock in the morning, emergency emergency, emergency evacuation. So it was code blue, basically, yeah, so somebody that actually had a major incident.
Speaker 2:Yeah and then they end up getting heli-vac'd off the next day because I think the crew doctor decided to keep observating. Then he got worse over time and then they, they did so they called it. The captain put his foot down on the actual uh, the steam on the on the ship to get home earlier and then he let her off, yeah once, once they realized that you know he was stable, yeah, well they got him off the ship on the helicopter, then he he pulled back on the throttle, so we weren't really going at all very fast.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we sort of made up that time. We'd actually caught up with that intense and that was pretty much the cruise. And then, obviously, disembarkating it was very good getting off again, wasn't it? Yeah, getting on and getting off was a, you know, fair play to royal caribbean and the quantum of the sea staff for that, because they handled that amazingly well. Yeah, um, I would say, you know, in overall performance for the whole ship, I would say about 90, oh yeah yeah, I loved it good I mean, there was only 10, I think in terms of like the things that we experienced and also the uh, the know.
Speaker 1:Nothing, but then nothing that would prevent me from going on another ship.
Speaker 2:Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Absolutely nothing. Look, I love cruising yeah. And the staff members are fantastic on that ship Best holiday you can possibly have because you don't have to drive anywhere, like as long as you don't go excessive. And if you're a drinker, get the drinks package. I probably wouldn't even get the refreshment package the next time, based on the fact that I don't think we actually tallied up the quantity that we could have actually drunk.
Speaker 2:Look, I was happy paying that for water. I was happy paying it Because we've got the coffees and everything else, but I don't think I literally don't think that we drank. If you worked out how much it costs per coffee and stuff like that it would probably be cheaper.
Speaker 1:yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Definitely For me. I just don't think it actually works Because you had for us. We've got the beverage package and we took the mocktails, the coffee, the water and the soda drink and I think personally, what we consumed individually each probably only came to about. I think it worked out by $55 a day, didn't?
Speaker 1:it. We paid them. No, it was like it was more than that it paid and we were consuming it was like it was more than that it was like 47 a day or something like that, like 55. I just said whatever. I thought you said five, no, 55 a day. Yeah, whatever it was.
Speaker 2:We consume less, consume that and we were drinking quite a bit. Yeah, you know, in that regards, we're making use of it because we could. Yeah, um, but it was probably cheaper to buy individually in that regards, but yeah, and people having the main drinks package, they couldn't keep up either.
Speaker 1:Even alcoholics couldn't keep up with it because it was just like too much of what you're paying for. Yeah, correct?
Speaker 2:So think outside the box, especially if you go on a short cruise. Don't do it, because you won't get your money's worth. You're not going to get your money's worth, that's for sure.
Speaker 1:But look at the wrap up the cruise there. It was fun.
Speaker 2:Now we're headed into beautiful no, we're going to do this on a separate podcast, are we? Yeah, because this is too long we're going to talk about Brisbane, because we stayed in Brisbane. Afterwards we got there.
Speaker 1:Oh, we did too. Oh yeah, because we did lots of sauna stuff and everything there. We did lots of stuff in Brisbane. Definitely. And stuff, yeah, we did lots of stuff in brisbane, definitely, and that's a separate podcast for us to do all right, so we're going to leave the cruise there.
Speaker 2:So that's a thumbs up for cruising for sure. And I would definitely say to everybody if you've never done one, look into it or go on one. They're great value for money. Yep, and the people you meet are the people that make the holiday yeah, and they will be your friends for life.
Speaker 1:They will definitely all right. So that's the cruise done and dusted from your fully grown homos.
Speaker 2:You've been listening to us on the Fully Grown Homos podcast at gmailcom as well. For the email.
Speaker 1:If you want to email us, they can let us know what your cruising adventures have been. Fully Grown Homos podcast and any of our socials, or fullygrownhomospodcast at gmailcom. That's a wrap from us. We've been your Fully Grown Homos and we look forward to opening your mind, your ears and your curiosities. Don't forget to like, comment and subscribe and share our podcast with your curious friends. You can contact us on fullygrownhomospodcast at gmailcom or any of our socials. Fully Grown Homos Podcast.
